Medical Video: Teens React to Bullying (Amanda Todd)
Your family must go to an important event, but the child refuses because he still wants to play the game at home. Finally the child screamed and said like, "Bad father! Evil mother! I not never allowed to play! Already, just leave without me! "Because you are tired, you give up and let the child play the game again even though it's time to leave.
Does this kind of event often occur? If so, you might be the type of parent bullied by your own child. Yes, bullying can occur at home and is done by your sons and daughters.
Check out the complete information about the child who likes to bully parents and how to stop the habit below.
How do children bully parents?
According to national data of the British government in 2012, many children behaved extreme, to violence both physically and verbally (through words) against their own parents.
This bullying behavior is actually very easy to see. For example, when a child yells because his request is not followed, throws things at you, may be accompanied by a threatening tone to make you say yes to their request, or when the child embarrasses you in public with sharp words. In the end you give up and obey his request. That means you are being bullied by your own child.
Simply put, every situation that makes you lose control of your child's behavior and even the child who can control you, that is the condition of your child doing acts of bullying. That's how children bully parents.
What triggers children to bullying parents?
According to Sean Grover, a psychotherapist, children can become bully because of environmental factors. That is, the pattern of care that you apply is precisely what could be the cause of children behaving in such a way. There are three parenting styles that might trigger children to bullying their own parents.
1. Parents who feel guilty (the guilty parent)
This type of parent feels guilty due to a mistake he has made or his imperfection as a parent. For example because of divorce, a disease, or financial difficulties.
To reduce their guilt, they give too much freedom to the child, tend to be limitless. This freedom eventually became the host's weapon for parents.
2. Anxious parents (the anxious parent)
Parents who are easily anxious in their eyes will look as if they are less competent or less in control. Because seeing his parents always worried, the child finally "urged" parents to make decisions by bullying their own parents.
3. Parents who try to improve everything (The fix-everything parent)
Parents of this type cannot stand seeing their children in distress. They will try to solve the child's problems or difficulties.
Indeed the intentions are good, but this can be bad. Because he feels that parents will always solve the problem and do anything for him, the child uses his parents to always obey his wishes.
Then, what should be done if you are in a situation like this?
1. Improve parenting
Parenting is given by your parents, maybe very affect parenting that you use now. Why is it influential? Because this reflects the values that you hold around child care.
For example, if your own parents tend to be authoritarian. You also do not want to apply such parenting to children. As a result, you actually become too soft on children and children to become "overdone".
Therefore, be aware that each parenting style has its own strengths and weaknesses. The important thing is to know the limits of each parenting style. Do not get anything too excessive, whether it's too hard or too soft.
2. Make new regulations at home
Set limits that children may and may not do. At first, maybe the child will be shocked and start bullying parents.
If this is the case, you should not give up and don't back up bullying. Instead, give understanding that makes them have feelings and thoughts better. Do it repeatedly, so that slowly he understands that parents have rules that need to be followed.
3. Take care of yourself
Parents who are victims of bullying by their own children tend to feel hopeless, stressed, and not excited. Be careful because this situation will make the child's condition worse.
For example, because you do not take care of yourself, children increasingly see your incompetent figure as a parent. He then "plays a role" as a parent who will arrange what must be done and when.
4. Ask for support and assistance
If the problem of children who bully these parents cannot be overcome alone, ask for help and support from family, friends, or professional medical personnel to help you resolve this problem.
By telling stories, you might be able to find fellow parents who actually face the same problem as you. From there, you can share tips parenting others relate to your family's condition.
5. Spend time with the child
If you threaten, punish, or continue to nag, this won't help. It could be that the crying is getting tighter and makes whatever you say is not heard by the child.
Try to spend time together that is fun with your child, can go to a playground or amusement park, or go for a walk to a place that you or your child likes. You can also do activities that your little one likes. This method can build good relationships and communication between you and your child.