Depression on Prospective Fathers

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Anyone who gets word that he will soon be a father will usually be filled with happiness. However, some men consider that being a father is more tense than fun.

If you feel this way, you are not alone. For some men, news of pregnancy can trigger depression. About 1 in 10 prospective fathers experience depression as long as their wives get pregnant.

How do you know if I'm depressed?

Depression symptoms vary among people. You may feel low or sad, or easily angry, all the time. Or you might shut yourself up. You may be aware that you cannot handle a number of things as usual.

Some symptoms that you may experience when suffering from depression:

  • It's less common to socialize and avoid meeting friends
  • Appetite changes (usually fewer meals)
  • Pain and pain without cause
  • Feel anxious or worried
  • Does not work well
  • Sexuality decreases
  • Energy shortage
  • Insomnia

If you experience these symptoms, check how long you feel like this. Everyone has had a bad day. However, if this feeling does not go away in at least 2 weeks, you may experience depression.

What causes depression?

It's hard to find the exact cause of depression. Maybe because you have a history of depression in the family, life stress, because of relationships, money, or stress in the work that is bothering you. Relationship problems such as separation and divorce are also associated with depression. When you will soon have children, especially for the first time, there are many things that are unknown and various changes that will occur in your life.

You might be worried about what you are like when you become a father? Or how will your relationship with your wife change after the baby is born?

You may feel you have to change jobs, move to a bigger house, or save for childbirth and school fees. Although pregnancy is a happy time for many wives, this can also be a source of conflict for others.

You must be aware that if your pregnant wife is depressed, there is a possibility that you will also be depressed.

How do you deal with depression?

If you are anxious about being a father, try to get more involved in your wife's pregnancy. Going with your wife to a prenatal class can help.

This class teaches how to care for babies and live with new babies. This will help you prepare yourself practically and emotionally, in living your role as father.

At the same time, try to observe your overall health. Some small books can make a difference:

Exercise

Try walking, swimming, cycling or running at least every other day. It doesn't matter what the activity is, as long as you move. Walking is good exercise for wives who are pregnant.

Being active every day can improve mood, relieve fatigue, and provide more energy. To help you think positively and stay active, you can work around your home or garden.

Healthy eating

Reduce fast food, packaged foods, and snacks that are high in fat and sugar. Healthy eating can really help you restore your body and soul.

You can make small changes. So, if you are used to eating fast food, try eating healthy food every Monday. Then, increase the number of days you eat healthy food every week in stages. Or try making a small change every day. For example, eat a piece of fresh fruit after you finish eating every day.

Your wife will want to eat healthy food during pregnancy. So, you can make changes together. You don't need to immediately reduce fatty foods and contain sugar, just eat smaller portions every day.

Get regular sleep

Try to sleep and wake up at the same time every day. Maybe you will find it easier to sleep if you don't eat much before going to bed. Try not to smoke, drink alcohol, or drink caffeinated drinks 6 hours before going to bed.

Make sure the bedroom is not too hot / cold, not too noisy or bright. Only use the bedroom for sleep and sex. If you still have to work at night, do it in another room.

You have to sleep 7 hours every night. If your sleep pattern is irregular, don't try to sleep too fast. Even if your wife sleeps fast because pregnancy makes her tired, you need to wait until your hours of sleep.

If you sleep at 9 or 10 in the evening, for example, you might wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning. So, you can read books, listen to music, or watch programs that make you relax, then sleep after 11 pm if you can.

Keep talking

Discussing your feelings with your wife, friends, or relatives can help. You may not want to meet other people, but you can still try to talk to friends and do other things you like, especially if your relationship is in trouble. Your friend cares about you. Let them help you by listening to your problem.

Positive thinking

If you think negatively, try to fight it. Seeing things positively rather than negatively can help you get rid of depression. To help you stay positive, do activities that help improve your mood and focus on what you achieve every day.

If you feel that everything doesn't work out the way you expected, take the time to review what went well today. Even if it seems trivial, concentrate and save it in your mind. This is the method used in cognitive therapy habits, and may work for you.

Avoid alcohol and illegal drugs

Stimulants like this can make you feel better in the short term. However, in fact alcohol is a depressant, and making decisions when you are under the influence of illegal drugs may actually make things worse.

Join groups

Many other people also experience what you experience. Meeting this community, even just over the internet, and sharing experiences might help you.

Consider joining a support group, especially if your wife is also depressed. Sharing strategies to overcome problems also helps reduce stress and depression in men whose wives are depressed.

How when the baby is born?

Some men continue to experience depression after the baby is born (though not all). However, if you are depressed before the baby is born, that does not mean you will be depressed afterwards.

You might worry about how you are as a parent. When the baby is finally born, you may realize that this is not as difficult as you might think.

Depression on Prospective Fathers
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