Contents:
- Medical Video: Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved | Esther Perel
- Men tend to cheat more often than women
- The age of marriage is vulnerable to infidelity
- Facing the problem of infidelity in marriage
- 1. Be strong mentally
- 2. Describe the evidence
- 3. Don't attack a partner
- 4. Start talking, not debate
Medical Video: Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved | Esther Perel
Cheating is a word that might make everyone shudder. How not, infidelity can make a household with a relatively long marriage, which was fine, become damaged. The presence of a third person in a relationship is certainly not expected by the couple. However, this phenomenon is like never ending.
Marriage is very vulnerable to infidelity due to various factors. Boredom is often a reason to justify this behavior. Even advocates like, "Just playing games, how come. Not serious, "often becomes a shield.
Men tend to cheat more often than women
The study, published in The Journal of Sex Research found that men tend to have an affair more often in marriage than women. While as many as 44 percent of women aged under 30 years say that they will end the relationship if a man is no longer loyal. Whereas for women in their 40s, the percentage is only 28 percent, and women in their 60s are 11 percent. This shows that the more age increases, women tend to tolerate more infidelity committed by partners.
The age of marriage is vulnerable to infidelity
The researchers found that in the marriage relationship, the tendency of men and women to commit adultery is no different. Women are more likely to cheat at a marriage age of 6-10 years.
Meanwhile, men are more interested in cheating after being married for 11 years. The researchers based these findings on data collected from 423 participants. The participants were asked to rate, according to their interests and 29 reasons to reject the affair and the possibility of cheating if given the opportunity.
The results of this study reveal that the factors that play the greatest role in infidelity are gender, religious beliefs, and age of marriage. The decision not to cheat is motivated by internal factors rather than external factors, such as fear of solitude.
Another reason is the desire to comply with applicable moral standards. Interestingly, moral standards in society are more effective in preventing people from cheating than they are about the impact on children or partners.
Superdrug's Doctor Online conducted a survey of more than 2,000 Americans and Europeans to find out why men and women cheated. The main cause of women having an affair is feeling they don't get enough attention from their partners. While men answer the reason for cheating is that they see other women more tempting than their wives.
Although not one hundred percent accurate, this finding can be a reminder for couples. Infidelity is very possible and you need to cultivate a relationship with your partner to stay warm to avoid infidelity cases.
Facing the problem of infidelity in marriage
Marriage ties are not as simple as your dating relationship when you were dating. You cannot go away and decide to end the relationship, especially if you already have children. For that see some tips that you can do when you find your husband or wife cheating.
1. Be strong mentally
Don't be surprised if your partner is defensive, firmly rejects all charges and argues with a million reasons. It's easy for people who cheat to cheat themselves (and their partners) into thinking that their behavior is meaningless and harmless.
The perpetrators of infidelity often use ways to manipulate partners by claiming that you are being irrational, excessive, or paranoid. They may even blame you because you did not give them something they needed or wanted.
2. Describe the evidence
You must have real proof of the affair committed by your partner such as text messages, phone calls, or even photos. The point is something that you can show as irrefutable proof. The perpetrator of the affair will certainly avoid if you just ask "You're cheating, right?".
Without proof, you will look like making it up. After that, invite your partner to talk about it and be open to you. Although painful, recognition can be the beginning to create a better future relationship.
3. Don't attack a partner
Your main goal is to get the truth by asking your partner to confess. Once you hear the confession and know what is really happening, you can both find the best solution.
To do this, you must approach your partner in a rational and non-threatening manner. You just have to be gentle and dampen your emotions and your partner's fears. The point is to make your partner respond in an honest way. Make a plan to deal with your partner and discuss this issue specifically without interruption. Choose the time and place carefully, then show evidence one by one.
Serenity is needed in this regard. Using aggressive methods of accusing or attacking will make the partner more defensive and impossible to help you reach the truth. Serenity and gentleness are better able to uncover truth than anger.
4. Start talking, not debate
A good way to start a conversation is to talk about yourself and start each sentence with the word "I", not "you." This will help your partner calm down and not feel blamed.
Second, express the problem in a non-judgmental way by stating, "I want to by the way serious with you. There is one thing that has really been bothering me lately. "
Finally, once your partner begins to open up, don't bombard him with questions. Studies show that people will close themselves, be defensive, and lie when asked too many cornering questions.
Remember, you are not a police officer who is interrogating a thief. Listen carefully to your partner's responses so you can assess the situation accurately and continue the conversation.
If you have difficulty controlling your emotions and thoughts, it's a good idea to go and ask for help from a third party to calm down. Meeting a marriage counselor, therapist, religious expert, or psychologist can be an option because they will place themselves more neutral, than if you tell this problem to family or friends.
