Contents:
- Medical Video: No More Drama With Mama | Gayle Kirschenbaum | TEDxBergenCommunityCollege
- The right way to overcome conflicts with children
- 1. Control your emotions
- 2. Communicate well
- 3. Let the child feel the consequences of his own choices
- 4. Find a joint solution
- 5. Learn to forgive one another
Medical Video: No More Drama With Mama | Gayle Kirschenbaum | TEDxBergenCommunityCollege
Child and parent relationships will not be separated from quarrels or conflict. Conflicts with children usually arise because of differences in views or opinions between children and parents. Conflict is also influenced by the way both respond and manage ongoing interactions.
Conflicts with children that are unresolved and lead to drama can interfere with family communication and intimacy. Therefore, as a parent you must be able to deal with conflict with your child as well as possible.
The right way to overcome conflicts with children
1. Control your emotions
Children's behavior that is difficult to regulate or fight your words certainly makes you upset. However, you must remain calm. Venting emotions will actually make the conflict more complicated and lead to unnecessary drama.
By being calm, you will be easier to communicate with children, find out the causes of conflict from both sides, and children will also soften.
When you are truly emotional, have the child go to his room first to reflect while you calm down in a different room.
2. Communicate well
When a conflict occurs, communicating is not an easy thing to do; especially if you are angry. However, to overcome conflicts between you and your child, you still need to do it communication good with your child, with:
- Don't just demand the child to guess and understand what you want. Conflict is actually a good time to tell your child about your views and expectations. Explain why you have different views.
- Make sure your child understands what you say, also about why you disagree with their attitude. Remember, this step may need to be done hundreds of times. However, stay patient and don't give up.
- Listen to your child, appreciate their opinions or views. Don't cut the child's words, even though you can guess what he is going to say to himself.
3. Let the child feel the consequences of his own choices
As a parent, you may feel entitled to determine when they should wake up, what they eat, when they sleep, or how they should dress.
Unfortunately, this often triggers conflict with children. The reason is, children feel they have lost the freedom to choose. Therefore, if one day your child does not obey your words, try listening to what they feel or want, and let the child feel for themselves the consequences (although not easy for you).
For example children cannot wake up in the morning. No need to scream to wake up the child until it finally becomes a drama in the morning fight. Just let the child wake up late so it's late to school. That way, children will learn for themselves that the choice of waking up is not right, without causing excessive drama at home.
4. Find a joint solution
Conflicts with children must be resolved together. The solution can be in the form of an agreement between you and your child, for example, "You can play now until evening, but you won't reduce your learning hours tonight if you tired. You still have to do homework and study for two hours. Agree?".
5. Learn to forgive one another
Parents and children are not perfect. Both of them must have made unintentional mistakes. Therefore, you as a parent also need to learn sincerely and be open to forgive your child's mistakes.
Likewise with children. You must teach children how forgive others, including you as a parent.
