Characteristics of a Bully (Unwittingly, Maybe You Are the One)

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Ordinary people think that bullying usually happens at school in children or at work. At work, bullying turns out not only to happen to your boss to you. Without realizing it, you could also be a bully for others.

How do I realize that I'm a bully?

According to Suzie Hayman, a counselor from the UK, it's very difficult to find out if you are a bully because almost everyone doesn't like you to label it. Those who experience it will not tell or talk to you.

In fact, what you do actually hurts them, but you don't realize it and assume that the things you do are normal.

What is bullying?

Basically, there is no formal understanding of what bullying is, or in Indonesian language shielding. But, experts agree that usually bullying is defined as behavior that occurs repeatedly and hurts others.

The forms of bullying can vary, can be emotional or physical, directly or through the media on lineor a combination of all of them.

Signs you are a bully

A psychologist from the United States as well as a former director of the Kravis Leadership Institute from Claremont McKenna College, Ronald Riggio, explained that there are many signs that someone is a bullying agent. According to him, the following is a sign that you oftenbully

  • Call names with taunts or insults. This happens for example by calling other people with negative meanings, such as "Stupid" or "The Bantet".
  • Dehumanize others. Mockery here is more about ties or behavior shows superiority and lowers others. For example, "You're going to what are you doing if I do this? "and," Just try calling the boss, surely he supports me, how come! "
  • Behavior over-control. A bully must try hard to control and suppress his victims so they cannot be free. You might criticize that person continuously. For example, say, "Can you just do it? Never taught by your parents, huh? "Or intentionally told the victims of bullying to do things they did not master so that the victim looked lame.
  • Disparaging others. You are including bullying others if you speak ill of others in a negative way. Without realizing it, it seems that this happens quite often.

So that you can better assess your actions by looking at the signs above, Suzie Hayman has an easy way. According to him, try to imagine if you were in his position. You must be able to see and feel what others feel.

Suzie also believes that there are views that can lead to bullying behavior. Of course, you need to improve these views.

bully at work

It's better to attack than to be attacked

If you have the principle of better attacking first than being attacked, you can finally become a bully. Usually people who hold fast to these principles show the following characteristics.

  • If someone does something to us, of course you will reciprocate.
  • If there are people who have social strength and seem very dominant, you will try hard to become friends. If not, you will instead become an easy target for him.

Usually, bullying actors have also been victims before

Suzie Hayman believes it is very possible for people to get bullied from their bosses at work and do the same when they are at home to their families. This is commonly referred to as impingement.

Or when you were little, you were often bullied so that when you were in college or work, you tended to do bullying because you felt it was normal.

If this continues, there will be a cycle that will never stop. Bullying will continue and there will be more people injured. Therefore, stop the cycle and do not multiply the bad bullies.

Characteristics of a Bully (Unwittingly, Maybe You Are the One)
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