Medical Video: Top 5 Signs You Are Not Ready To Get Married
Marriage is one of the greatest commitments in life. See right and left, many of your comrades have taken the trailer wherever they go - even some of them have been troubled carrying a child. This makes you sink into a daydream, "When is my turn?" But, do you just want to get married because of being influenced by friends or really want to marry your partner? Take a look at the signs below and find out if you are really ready to get married.
Are you ready to get married?
1. You have good reasons why you want to get married
Try closing your eyes and really imagine the reason in fact why do you want to get married. What benefits will you get from marrying your partner, compared to continuing the current relationship as it is? Ask yourself difficult questions and make sure you are ready physically and mentally to get married.
Falling in love and getting ready to get married are two very different things. If you marry this person just because you think they will be a good husband / wife for you and a good parent for your child later, but you don't really love him, you should again consider whether you are ready to marry in general, or ready to marry himself (and only himself) specifically.
If you and your partner have a fundamental difference in beliefs, vision and mission, morals, and ideas, this will lead to ongoing issues in your household that will later be more difficult to deal with. For example, being unable to agree on the principles of what your children will grow up with.
2. Planning a home life - not just sparkling parties
Who doesn't ever daydream about what the wedding will be like? The wedding party is an exciting thing, an opportunity to spend valuable time with friends and relatives at once. But, is your goal only to hold the most magnificent wedding and unmatched by other friends and you are the center of attention? or do you really want to navigate the household with him?
The wedding takes only a few hours, while life as a married couple takes place (hopefully) for life. So don't plan for one day - plan the rest of your life for both of you.
When you think about your future, your partner's position is clear in that shadow. That is the sign that you are ready to get married. Not only for certain times and situations, such as "plus one" friend's fiance party or as a bored entertainer friend during a family vacation. Pause to look far ahead and believe that you want him to be involved in every moment of your life, both bad - and your position in his life plan.
After you agree to be serious and decide to commit to each other, you need to plan together. What if your partner has to move to another city or country? Are you OK to stay at home, or will you go with your partner? Know what each party wants, and make sure you are willing to compromise to achieve this common goal and plan.
3. Open to one another - including financial matters
One sign that you might not be ready to get married is if you cover up the important secrets of your partner. The secret in question can include the people closest to you (who spend the most time with you), information about personal finances, or trends in drug and alcohol abuse.
No matter how long you have been dating, you need to know your partner inside and out. Don't get married just because you've been dating enough for three months or even ten years. Marry because you understand him. You know the past, you know what their dreams and hopes for the future are and how they achieve them. Beyond that, you trust them. Trust is the most important thing in domestic life, so make sure that you can trust yourself fully.
Let him see the real you at the most vulnerable. So you no longer worry that one day he will know that you are not always relaxed and sane. Sometimes, you can get very upset. He sees you in your worst condition, and he stays beside you. Vice versa
4. Solve common problems - not avoid each other
Don't just want to get married because you think that getting married will solve your problems both while dating now. First resolve the conflict between you, then get married. Moreover, you and your partner will face obstacles that are far more complex when they are married later. You will know that you are ready to get married when you realize that as soon as there is a problem, you want to immediately discuss together with a cold head to solve the problem so that it does not explode in the future.
Life as a married couple is like a partnership, which means you have to share problems without one party feeling disadvantaged. Different views in solving problems are common, but here is the importance of compromising. If you are determined to live together in the years to come, you must be able and willing to give up some things. Solving problems and compromising in a relationship will build a strong foundation for a healthy married life.
Make sure there is no revenge between the two of you. If something is bothering you, you should be able to bring it up for discussion, even if you are worried it will make you look silly or maybe end up in a fight.
5. You can't live without him, but it doesn't matter when you have to be alone
Overall, yes, you love your partner. You cannot imagine yourself without him. You know you cannot be happy if you live with someone else, and you will feel very chaotic if you are not with your partner.
At the same time, you no longer need to worry about what he did when you were not beside him. You don't have the slightest doubt about the potential of his actions when he goes out with his friends out of town, for example. You really understand that, regardless of household life, you and your partner are not a pair of conjoined twins who have to do anything together. You believe in yourself (read point 3). You are only very eager to look forward to returning to your lap.
In addition, if only he is your friend and a party that you can trust, every argument that exists will look like the end of the world, even when you are trivializing trivial issues. You still need a support system from outside parties (read: family and friends, even time alone). Also keep in mind that friends and family are the people who best understand you, all the good and the bad, and if they think something is wrong with your relationship, maybe you should listen.
Most importantly, even if you meet all of these criteria and you still feel you are not ready to get married, don't be overly concerned - all of this can grow over time. After all, what's the hurry?