Contents:
- Medical Video: The impact of divorce on children: Tamara D. Afifi at TEDxUCSB
- When parents cheat and their impact on children
- Parents also have to think of children for infidelity
Medical Video: The impact of divorce on children: Tamara D. Afifi at TEDxUCSB
Infidelity is a big problem in many cases, there is no antidote. Hurt, disappointed, or feeling betrayed has become a definite impact when someone knows that they are cheated on. This applies not only to married couples. Sometimes, their baby who knows one of the two cheating parents also feels its own impact. What is the impact on children when they know their parents cheat? How to deal with it?
When parents cheat and their impact on children
It's hard to know how many children are in the middle of their parents' affair. Estimates range from 25 percent to 70 percent. Sometimes parents are also good at hiding their affairs and conflicts in front of children.
However, according to the Huffington Post there are around one million children whose parents divorce every year. Infidelity tends to be one of the main factors of husband and wife separation.
It was also found that the impact of parents having an affair can make a child experience shock, anger, anxiety, and even shame around him because his family separated. Worse yet, children may have problems in building trust, love and affection with someone in the future.
Ana Nogales, a writer of infidelity books as well as clinical psychologists, says that there are a few effects that children feel when parents cheat.
- When you find a parent cheating, usually the child becomes difficult to believe in others. They will assume that their loved ones can lie or hurt them. It is also feared, they will later believe that no marriage will last. Children tend to play easily with a loyal commitment to one person.
- If a parent cheats and tells her child to keep the act secret, your child can experience a tremendous mental burden. Guilt, pressure from parents who cheat, and a sense of betraying the family can cause depression and anxiety in the child.
- Children who know of cases of parental infidelity may see that marriage is not a sacred promise. So, they can just assume that loyalty is not important. Maybe even, children will be confused to understand what the meaning of learning to love someone, loyalty, and marriage itself.
- Who is not angry when cheated? Yes, this is one of the biggest possibilities that can affect your child. Children's emotions will be divided between hate and longing for the departure of their cheating parents.
- Of the many cases, many found children whose parents cheated eventually developed behavioral disorders. Instead of facing feelings of sadness, anger, or confusion with family circumstances, children can vent it into the wrong activities. Children can fall into risk behavior to try to divert their sadness because of an affair parent.
The impact above is also influenced by the following factors:
The above factors can continue to develop according to the conditions and personalities of the children responding to the affair that their parents confessed. This should also be adjusted to maturity and how understand the child is about the affair his parents did. Following are the factors:
- How children can find out about the affair.
- The age of the child when the affair occurs.
- Is the affair of parents leading to divorce.
- Do parents choose to leave with their affair and leave the child.
- Does the child accidentally see his parents cheating.
- How do children see the attitude of one parent who is cheated on.
Parents also have to think of children for infidelity
The researchers advise parents to also care about the impact of this affair on their children. Try to keep giving strong attention to the child so that they do not feel rejected, wasted, or the severity of the child thinks that he is the cause of the affair.
If there are quarrels or other problems caused by parents cheating, you and your partner must apologize for the good of your child. Explain and give as much understanding as possible. With a clear understanding, surely your child will slowly understand this problem.
Give children enough time and space to process the facts and emotions they feel. Do not expect that the child will immediately understand the condition of his parents and can forgive parents at that time. The process of making peace with a parent's affair can take a very long time, even years. However, for parents the key is to continue to provide love, attention, and assistance for children.
