Contents:
- Medical Video: The Other Side of Infidelity | Dr. Kevin Skinner | TEDxRiverton
- Impact of parental affair that occurs in children
- Then, how to overcome the impact of the affair?
- 1. Build children's trust again
- 2. Confront all children's anger
- 3. Don't bully a party in front of a child
Medical Video: The Other Side of Infidelity | Dr. Kevin Skinner | TEDxRiverton
Infidelity not only provides a problem between the two partners, the child will be dragged into this problem. Infidelity has a big impact on children. If the child is still too small, maybe he doesn't understand too well, but that doesn't mean he won't get the impact. Especially if the child is more mature and knows that one of his parents is having an affair. Of course this will shake the psychological condition that has an impact on their next life. Then how do you overcome the impact of infidelity on the child's psychological arising? Check here
Impact of parental affair that occurs in children
Reported on the Kindred page, a survey conducted on more than 800 children online by Noagale, a clinical psychologist, about the impact that children feel when their parents cheat, and the results include:
- 88.4 percent of them feel very angry at parents who are having an affair.
- 70.5 percent of them feel a decrease in trust in others (hard to believe). They feel that many people around him are lying.
- 62.5 percent felt ashamed of their environment because of the condition of their parents.
Noagale asserted, parents must be careful, because not only couples who feel betrayed, children will feel the same way even greater sense of experience. This feeling of betrayal caused various effects from getting angry, having difficulty believing to being embarrassed by his own environment.
Of course this will affect behavior to the nature of the child, even until he is mature and establish relationships with other people.
Then, how to overcome the impact of the affair?
It is not easy indeed to restore the mental condition of a child who has just learned the bitter truth about his parents. However, this problem must be quickly addressed so that the mental health of the child is not disturbed and gets worse. Here are ways to overcome the effects of infidelity that occur in children.
1. Build children's trust again
The impact of infidelity will make children lose their trust, they will even feel that the people around them are lying. Now it's your job to build and restore your sense of trust.
Trust is a need and feeling for everyone. Trust can also be learned and shaped, even if it requires a process. The most important thing, parents must convince children that trust is a necessity.
In the presence of a child who is still young and does not understand the situation well, it may be difficult to explain it with long sentences. Show the child that you are reliable, always respond to all his behavior.
For children who are more mature, make sure that trusting someone is not a bad thing. A trust is important for building a relationship or for building cooperation with other people so that the desired goal can be achieved.
The thing that must be emphasized to him is to be able to distinguish which people are worthy of trust and which are not. Likewise, on the contrary, convince children to become people who can always be trusted by friends, relatives, and family.
2. Confront all children's anger
The impact of the other affair is definitely anger. Well, you as a companion must always be willing to listen to what the child says, even if it is expressed in anger.
Here is a way to deal with when a child is angry.
- Do not rule out your child's anger, suppress your own emotions when faced with children who are angry because of the condition of their parents.
- If you are a betrayed parent and your child reveals something or feels homesick about a partner who betrays you, allow them to do it without you giving a negative opinion.
- Listen to your child's questions and respond to the truth. Even though that truth might be unpleasant. Honest and straightforward directly to children.
- Always be a good listener for children, and always be able to answer the child's questions whatever they express.
3. Don't bully a party in front of a child
Never encourage children to take sides or cause hostility towards their father or mother who is having an affair, even though you may feel extreme pain.
If necessary, expose your own anger to the counselor or psychologist, not to the child. Explaining a party will actually build a negative behavior in the future.
