Contents:
- Medical Video: Making Shackle Mounts | How to
- What is really meant by shame?
- How do you make peace with shame?
- 1. Pay attention to what triggers shame
- 2. Change your mind
- 3. Accept yourself, if you really feel embarrassed
- 4. Stay away from people who make your shame reappear
- 5. Forgive yourself
Medical Video: Making Shackle Mounts | How to
Everyone must have felt embarrassed. From simple things like embarrassment to making a trivial mistake to shame because there are important things that tarnish your identity or good name out there.
Because everyone has experienced it, it does not mean that this feeling will forever settle in itself. This must be prevented, and feeling embarrassed because certain things must be forgotten so as not to affect yourself in the future. How do you make peace with shame?
What is really meant by shame?
There are three types of shame that we might feel. The first is shame because of making a mistake that is actually not morally wrong or a social norm. For example, falling tripping in public or costume. While the second shame can arise when you do something that is considered to violate morals, codes of ethics, or social norms. For example, you know that your coworkers embezzled company money, but you did nothing to stop it.
The third shame is actually more about the desire to blend in like people around, but can't because he is indeed different. An example is a cancer patient whose hair falls out due to chemotherapy. He may feel embarrassed at school because his appearance is different from his friends.
Shame can also be marked physically, among others, with a reddened face, wide-eyed startled by embarrassment. This feeling also results in the desire to hide, disappear, or even worse, to commit suicide.
How do you make peace with shame?
Actually shame is used to prevent someone from doing things that deviate from social norms and values. However, continuing to sink into shame will not help you to continue living.
Therefore, you need to make peace with that shame. Even though it's not easy, you can apply the following five steps.
1. Pay attention to what triggers shame
First, try evaluating and writing anything that makes you feel embarrassed. This may be difficult at first, because it is undeniable that you are also embarrassed to remember and express it to yourself.
Understand why you feel embarrassed, can shame be removed, what can make you not ashamed again, and how to anticipate yourself not to be more embarrassed. Once you know what makes you embarrassed, you can begin to dominate the trigger and solve your anxiety.
2. Change your mind
Sometimes, negative thoughts can be toxic to the shame you already have. By continuing to think negatively like, "What do people say about me later?" Or, "What if I am labeled as a shameful person for life?" You can immerse yourself in negative thoughts. This thought will not make you better. There are even more embarrassed and worse.
Your job is to cultivate shame by challenging your own thoughts. Suppose you are embarrassed because you have to repeat many courses in the next semester. Instead of feeling shy and not enthusiastic about learning, challenge yourself. For example by saying, "I really have to repeat some courses, but in this semester I will be more enthusiastic and diligent. After all, not repeating a course is no guarantee that you will pass quickly and successfully. "
3. Accept yourself, if you really feel embarrassed
No one wants to feel embarrassed or humiliated. However, when that happens, you cannot just erase it from memory. The first thing you must do is accept that you feel shame. You must not deny and consider yourself fine.
You must accept the shame to be able to fight it. By acknowledging your feelings, you can also be someone who is confident and positive again. This self-acceptance is more important than having to constantly cover up the shame you have.
4. Stay away from people who make your shame reappear
It's annoying if there are still people who keep reminding you of embarrassing things that have happened. If there are still people like that, or intentionally offending so that you are more embarrassed, it's good to avoid those "toxic" people.
You have the right to choose who will be around you and who will not. Surround yourself with people who support, understand, and love you.
5. Forgive yourself
Releasing things, people, or events that make themselves shy, is a surefire way you can reconcile yourself from feeling embarrassed. As mentioned above, everyone has the wrong and ever felt ashamed. Then, why do you become a person who has fallen into shame?
One or two embarrassing events will not be a lifelong verdict on your identity and life. So, it's better to get up, forgive the mistakes you've made, and now focus on improving yourself.
