Medical Video: 6 Steps to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence | Ramona Hacker | TEDxTUM
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is how you express emotions and overcome them in a positive way even in stressful situations. People with high EQ are often able to communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome difficulties and ease conflicts. This knowledge and understanding are, for the most part, non-verbal processes that shape thinking and influence how well you relate to other people.
IQ and EQ, what's the difference?
Unlike intellectual intelligence or what is known as IQ, EQ is a capability that can be learned, not something that you carry from birth. However, learning emotional intelligence is meaningless if you don't apply that knowledge to life. Just because you know that you have to do something doesn't mean you will do it — especially when you are burdened with stress, which can defeat your good intentions.
As is known, being the brightest most successful person does not guarantee you can become the most prosperous person in life. You might know someone who is academically brilliant but socially incompetent, and unsuccessful at work or personal relationships. Intellectual intelligence (IQ) is not enough to automatically succeed in life.
Yes, your IQ can help you get into college, but emotional intelligence, aka EQ, will help you deal with stress and emotions when facing a final exam. IQ and EQ exist simultaneously and will be most effective when they build on each other.
Four things in your life that can fall apart without EQ
1. Your performance at school or work
Emotional intelligence can help you overcome social problems at work, lead and motivate others, and excel in your career. In fact, when it comes to evaluating prospective employees, many companies now consider emotional intelligence as important as technical capabilities and use EQ tests before hiring them.
2. Your physical health
If you are unable to deal with emotions, chances are you also cannot overcome stress. This can cause serious health problems.
Uncontrolled stress can increase blood pressure, suppress the immune system, increase the risk of heart attacks and strokes, contribute to infertility, and accelerate the aging process. The first step to increasing emotional intelligence is to learn how to relieve stress.
3. Your mental health
Uncontrolled emotions and stress can also have an impact on mental health, making you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you cannot understand your emotions, do not feel comfortable with your emotions, and cannot overcome your emotions, you will be at risk of not being able to build strong relationships, which can make you feel lonely and isolated.
4. Your relationship with others
By understanding your emotions and knowing how to overcome them, you will be better able to express how you feel and understand the feelings of others. This allows you to communicate more effectively and build stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life.
Six keys to improving EQ
1. Reducing negative emotions
Maybe this is the most important EQ aspect, namely the ability to deal with self emotions effectively so that it does not burden the mind and does not affect your ability to make decisions.
To change your negative feelings about a situation, you must first change the way you think about it. For example, try not to be prejudiced against people's actions. Remember, there may be good intentions behind their actions.
2. Practice staying calm and dealing with stress
Most people must have experienced stress in life. How you deal with this stressful situation will affect EQ. For example, are you assertive, or reactive? Stay calm, or overwhelmed?
When under pressure, the most important thing to remember is to keep yourself calm. For example by washing your face with cold water or starting aerobic exercise to reduce stress.
3. Practice expressing emotions that are not easy
There are times in life where you need to make boundaries so that other people know where you are. This can include:
- ventured to disagree with others (without being rude)
- say "no" without feeling guilty
- set personal priorities
- trying to get what you have the right to get
- protect yourself from pressure and interference.
4. Be proactive, not reactive, when dealing with people who trigger your emotions
Most people must have been faced with people who annoy or complicate your life. You might be "stuck" with someone like this at work or even at home. It's easy to let people like this influence you and ruin your day.
You can try to calm down before you talk to people who often trigger negative emotions in you, especially when you feel angry. You can also try to see the situation from that person's point of view.
However, empathy does not mean tolerating inappropriate behavior. You still need to emphasize that there are consequences for everything.
5. The ability to rise from difficulties
Life isn't always easy — everyone knows that. How you choose to think, feel, and behave when in difficult situations, often can determine whether you will continue to have hope or even despair, whether you will continue to be optimistic or even frustrated, and whether you will experience victory or even defeat.
In every difficult situation encountered, ask questions like,
- "What lessons can be taken here?"
- "How can I learn from this experience?"
- "What's most important now?"
- "If I think differently, is there a better answer?"
The higher the quality of the questions you ask, the better the answers you will get. Ask constructive questions based on the learning process and priorities, and you can get the right perspective to help you deal with the situation at hand.
6. The ability to express feelings in personal relationships
The ability to express emotion full of love is very important to maintain close personal relationships. This emotion can be conveyed through words, body language, and behavior. For example through positive eye contact, smile, listening with empathy, or simply offering food.
You not only have to be able to share deep feelings with others in your personal relationship, but you also have to be able to respond positively when the person expresses deep emotions to you.
Hello Health Group does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.