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Medical Video: Dealing with a depressed parent
Knowing that one family member has depression never feels easy. However, when clinical depression affects your parents, circumstances require the role of family members to turn one hundred and eighty degrees.
Depression can cause problems for your parents, including being afflicted with prolonged sadness and feeling tired tired at all times. You have no choice but to grow up quickly, to be the person who now holds household responsibilities. This can not only cause relationship problems at home, but also in your school / work environment.
Children from depressed parents have a high risk of mental and physical illness as adults
Many medical journals out there have written about the negative effects of depression on depressed parents on their children. One of them, a 20-year study funded by the National Health Institute of Mental Health shows that children from depressed parents have a threefold higher chance of developing major depressive disorders or anxiety disorders - especially phobias - two a greater risk of alcohol dependence, and a sixfold greater chance of developing dependence on drugs.
In addition to mental disorders, children from depressed parents report developing more health problems, especially heart problems with a fivefold increase, and the average age of onset (beginning of symptoms) in the early to mid 30s.
Quoted from The Daily Beast, when parents are under intense emotional stress, or other forms of stress (depression), it can change the genetic activity of their children at least during adolescence and may continue until they grow older. And because some genes are transformed to shape brain development, the effects of parental depression may be permanently implanted in their children's brains.
Abuse of children and even depressed mothers, studies show, can turn off stress hormone receptor building genes in a child's brain. When this gene is silenced, the child's stress response system functions in critical conditions, making it very difficult to overcome life's difficulties, making the person more vulnerable to suicide attempts. In infants with parents with depression or anxiety disorders, they experience a similar silencing of the stress hormone receptor gene, making it hypersensitive and unable to cope with stress in the future. These studies show that having a depressed mother will leave a trace on a child's DNA.
Signs and characteristics of depressed parents
- Depression can show different faces to everyone. You may realize that your father or mother has lost interest and desire for activities they usually enjoy, such as hobbies like gardening or playing golf, or even attending family events.
- Your father or mother may express sadness, despair and / or helplessness. Sometimes, despair can not be seen. Instead, your father / mother cursing, nagging, expressing anger or resentment, complaining about physical symptoms such as fatigue, aches and pains, such as headaches, abdominal pain, or back pain - for reasons that are not clear.
- Your parents may sleep longer or less frequently than usual. Or, they have experienced a dramatic increase / decrease in weight lately. Some other symptoms that might help you find out about changes in your parents are: drinking excess alcohol or smoking too often, drug abuse (overuse of sleeping pills or pain relief), wishy-washy, messy, and quickly forgotten.
- Some people may show physical symptoms more often than emotional symptoms. It is common for middle-aged groups to suffer from depression after the death of a loved one (spouse, close family, even children), loss of independence (due to age or retirement), and other health problems.
Understanding the symptoms of depression shown by your parents is important for you to get help for him. Once you understand the issues surrounding depression, you may be more patient, know how good it is to respond to your parents' tantrums, and have a better understanding of treatment options.
What should be done to help depressed parents?
You cannot control the depression that your loved ones have. However, you can, however, to take care of yourself. It is equally important for you to be able to stay healthy, just like your parents stay healthy to get the best care, so make your physical and mental well-being a top priority.
You will not be able to help someone who is sick if you are sick yourself. In other words, make sure you have fulfilled your well-being and happiness for yourself before you try to help others who are down. You will not be of much use if you actually get worse when you want to help depressed parents. When your own needs are met, you will have the energy you need to reach out.
1. Pay attention to his movements
Old people often say "No, I'm not sad," or "No, I'm not lonely" because they don't want to be an additional burden in the family. Therefore, pay attention to the trivial but seemingly unusual movements, such as squeezing excessive hands, getting angry or offended, or finding it difficult to sit quietly.
2. Invite them to talk about their feelings
Parents tend to be more difficult to cope with loss well, unlike young people, because the years he has lived in add to the meaning behind that moment. You can help your father / mother by acknowledging the importance behind the loss: Ask your father / mother what they feel after the loss ("Ma'am, alright? I just want to check your mother's condition, because later I'm worried. Want a story? ";" Have you eaten? What is it, sir / madam? "
It is important to listen without judgment, and respect their feelings. Listening offers immediate comfort and support. It is important to remember that being a good and loving listener is far better than giving advice. You don't have to try to "fix" the person; people don't like being repaired - you just have to listen attentively.
Don't expect one simple conversation to solve the problem. Someone who is depressed tends to attract and close themselves from those around him. You may need to express your concerns and willingness to hear, again and again. Slowly, don't force it, but constantly.
3. Invite a doctor to consult
Invite your parents to see a doctor or a therapist to discuss the symptoms they experience. Depression makes a person has a minimum motivation and energy to do something, even goes to the doctor. Therefore, it is better if you make your first appointment (after approval) and accompany them during the consultation session. Keep an eye on your parent's treatment plan to ensure that he follows every step of the treatment properly, including taking regular medication and attending each therapy session.
4. Continue to be next to it
Support your father / mother to continue therapy and consumption of medicines until they are finished, even when they feel better. The reason for his improving condition now is because of his treatment. If he insists on stopping the medication, talk to your doctor in charge of your parents first. Your doctor may recommend your father / mother to reduce the dose of the drug slowly before actually deciding on the overall treatment, as well as to prevent symptoms from coming back later.
Home tasks that seem trivial for us will be very difficult for people with depression to manage. Offer to help take over housework, but remember, don't force to do everything for your parents that you know and believe they can do it themselves, such as driving or going shopping to supermarkets. Doing everything for depressed people in the name of helping to ease their burdens is often not helpful at all, because this will strengthen their perception that they are truly helpless and worthless. It's best to help your parents do small portions of things and praise them for all the efforts they make.
Occasionally, check your parents' condition from time to time, especially if you are no longer living with them. Ask a friend or close neighbor you trust to come to your father / mother's house regularly. If symptoms of depression appear to worsen, contact the therapist. If your parents stop caring for themselves at all, stop eating, and isolate themselves, it's time to intervene.
5. Watch for signs of suicide
Don't expect depressed parents to improve quickly. Most antidepressants take weeks to be effective, and it may take months or even years to complete therapy. Train your patience and your parents, and offer emotional support.
At critical times like this, learn the signs of suicidal thoughts that might be shown, such as talking and glorifying death, saying goodbye, giving valuable property, completing all worldly affairs, and sudden mood changes from depressive to calm.
If a depressed parent shows just a few signs and / or wishes to end his life, immediately seek help to stabilize him. Don't leave him alone. Contact the therapist, contact the emergency department / police (118/110), or bring him immediately to the nearest hospital emergency unit. All acts that signal suicide must be taken seriously as an emergency measure to prevent tragedy.
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