Contents:
- Medical Video: Stay in - or Leave - a Relationship?
- How come it remains unhappy when it has an ideal partner?
- Why should you be grateful?
- How to be a more grateful person?
Medical Video: Stay in - or Leave - a Relationship?
When you want to compile your romance, don't you want to find a partner who fulfills all the criteria of your ideal partner? You certainly assume that having an ideal partner will make your relationship more happy, right? But the results of several studies actually reveal the opposite. Happiness in a love relationship is not determined by having an ideal partner.
How come it remains unhappy when it has an ideal partner?
When a study asks participants to scale what criteria they need to find a partner, the participants actually scale on agreeing and disagreeing with those actions. The participants added that, these criteria should have been made into an introspection material for yourself.
A journal published online in Psycological Journal also revealed that a person's happiness in a relationship has nothing to do with how ideal the partner is. This is because happiness in a relationship is more influenced by finding the best of the available choices.
A happy person is a person who tends to be able to control his life and emotions rather than being reactive to his surroundings. If you are not happy with your life, who or what can you blame other than yourself?
Even if there is something or someone you can blame with your unhappiness, will blaming him make your life better? So, when you are not happy with the ideal partner, or even the best partner from the available choices you have today, maybe you should be more grateful.
Why should you be grateful?
How happy are you, if you feel incessantly with what you have and always want more? Happiness you can feel is no more and no less grateful. Research reveals that people who practice gratitude consistently feel some positive effects afterwards.
They will tend to be physical, have a better immune system, feel less pain, have lower blood pressure, can maintain their health better by being more diligent in exercising, for example, and easier to sleep so they feel more refreshed when they wake up in the morning day.
While psychologically and socially, they will tend to have higher positive emotions, be more alert and awake, and feel more optimistic. They will also be easier in helping others, forgiving others, and not easily feeling lonely.
How to be a more grateful person?
According to Robert A. Emmons, a psychology professor at the University of California greatergood. You can do the following tips to make it easier to be grateful:
- Take the time to reflect on your life and mark moments where you feel very grateful for the people you have and with yourself. This action might help you from a 'person who will be thankful depending on the condition' to be 'a grateful person'. You can do this by listing five points in one week.
- Explore the extent to which you struggle, this may increase your appreciation of yourself.
- Ask yourself the following questions, "What have I received from the couple?" "What have I given to the couple?" And "What difficulties have I caused for the couple?" These questions might help you to be able to see something from another perspective.
- Make an agreement to be more grateful. You can do it to yourself, with a partner, or both. A study said that this step would be more realized the plan so that it would not only end as a discourse.
- Show with your emotions. Gratitude is usually expressed with a smile and thanks. When you express it, you unconsciously trigger a feeling of gratitude in yourself, do it more often. Emotions are contagious, it could be that not only you will feel grateful, but also your partner, so that your mood will be even more about positive things.
