Medical Video: 6 Reasons Your Partner Won't Have Sex With You
A million questions may go back and forth in your mind as soon as your husband rejects your invitation to have sex. Don't panic first. Decreased sex drive is actually only natural, and is not always a result of certain sex problems or disorders, such as erectile dysfunction (impotence) for example. Reduced sex interest is more likely to occur if you are both very used to living together in the long run. Here are some of the most common reasons why your male partner refuses to have sex.
The reason men refuse to have sex plus tips for dealing with it
Yes. Exhausted is the main reason and the most common is why many men decide to miss playing in bed tonight. Moreover, sex is a heavy physical activity that requires a lot of energy and burns a lot of energy - even almost the same as exercising.
A tired body is a sign that you need rest. That is why after being exhausted from activities all day long you usually become more sleepy and choose to go straight to sleep, rather than making love. Because, tiredness can actually make it more difficult to sleep, so even more makes your body sluggish the next day.
What can be done:If your partner is really exhausted, you should not force yourself to make love. Schedule your sex on another day. Alternatively, you can choose to have a solo sex or masturbation for a while, or invite your partner to make love by mutual masturbation together for example.
If he constantly feels tired without a reason, you should immediately consult a doctor to find the exact cause.
Stress also affects sexual desire. Your male partner may refuse to deal with stress because his mind is frantically preoccupied with the stress he experiences, can be stressed about work, financial problems, face the hardships of traffic jams, and may be stressed out because of the pent-up emotions of a fight with you that end up tough.
The release of cortisol and adrenaline due to stress that lasts for a long time can reduce testosterone levels. This can interfere with sperm production and can cause erectile dysfunction or transient impotence.
What can be done:
Invite your partner to talk about what causes stress, but not at bedtime. Also ask your partner what you can do to help him through these difficult times. Help couples to solve their work problems, at least provide meaningful support for their emotions.
Having sex can actually help reduce stress. Sex will release many endorphins that create a sense of calm and happiness to suppress stress hormones.
You can try to create a romantic and seductive atmosphere of your partner by making intimate foreplay, such as kissing, touching, hugging, caressing the body, giving hickey, to teasing, talking naughty, whispering, or praising his appearance.
The longer time you spend both for foreplay, sex drive increases and the sensation of orgasm you will experience is also getting more intense.
3. Low Libido
Starting at the age of 30 years, male testosterone levels tend to decrease which can affect his desire to have sex. Andropause conditions that are often experienced when stepping on the age of five heads can also cause decreased testosterone levels. Low testosterone can cause difficult erections or difficulty maintaining an erection so your partner tends to refuse to have sex.
Even though testosterone decreases aging frequently, male libido can also decrease due to other things - for example side effects of certain drugs (generally hypertension drugs and SSRI antidepressants), chronic sleep disorders such as sleep apnea, to certain diseases such as cancer.
What can be done:
Discuss with your doctor about the possibility of getting hormone therapy to treat low testosterone problems. Most men with low testosterone will be prescribed testosterone gel to rub on his arm or shoulder.
For the time being, you can get around sexual activity with intimate foreplay techniques to keep the fire of romance both of you still warmly blazing. You can also watch a concert together, watch a movie, or even have a romantic dinner while repeating happy memories in bed. Adding intimacy does not always have to be done by penetrating the penis into the vagina.
Untreated depression can damage household harmony. Because, depression is one of the biggest killers of sex drive. Depression makes the sufferer feel worse, miserable, and hopeless, so he may choose to better isolate himself from the people around him and refuse to have sex with you.As many as 34 percent of men report that their depression is the cause of their sexual desires to drop dramatically.
In addition, the side effects of antidepressant drugs can also reduce sex drive.
What can be done:
Invite your partner to take cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to deal with his depression. As soon as possible. This therapy prioritizes efforts to eliminate negative thoughts and behaviors, replacing them with positive things. If necessary, consult a doctor to reduce the prescription dose or change the type of medication he is taking.
Don't force yourself to have sex with a partner who is depressed. Making out without having to have sexual penetration can be an effective way to keep on waging the fire of your love, like holding hands, hugging, kissing or making out.
Keep in mind, depressed people usually feel lonely and isolated so that it is difficult to communicate. So, you need to work harder than you do to help the depressed partner get out of his black hole.
5. Having sexual problems
Most men who refuse to have sex have sexual problems that they hide. The most commonerectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.Both sexual problems make men tend to withdraw because they are afraid that their partner will be disappointed or feel ashamed because they cannot last long.
What can be done:
In most cases, impotence or premature ejaculation is rooted in psychological problems that are buried. Others may be caused by an underlying disease or condition, such as diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease.
It will not be easy to discuss this sexual problem. However, you need to talk to your partner and ask him to be open with you. Try to tell your partner that you love him for who he is. Next, make sure that you and your partner can overcome this problem by asking the best advice from the doctor.
Your partner may not feel emotionally connected to you. Daily household conflicts that lead to arguments can cause men to feel reluctant to make out with you.
However, miscommunication can also occur when you are both in bed. For example, you as a woman have never felt satisfied and eventually chose to fake orgasm. Over time, this habit can affect a man's confidence so he chooses to refuse sex. Or maybe the opposite. It is precisely those who feel you cannot satisfy their sexual desires
What can be done:
Finish all the conflicts and unrest you want to spill, but do it outside the bedroom. Invite your partner to discuss with your head coldly to find the midpoint of the problem and the solution.
It's good for you and your partner to talk about your sex life openly. You can convey what makes you feel unsatisfied, as well as yourself. Talk to your partner about what kind of sexual relationship they want from each other. The important thing is that both of them must be open and understand each other's conditions.
Sexual intercourse does not merely involve prime physical condition. To get essential satisfaction, sex must involve deep emotional bonds. This can be achieved by doing the above.