Medical Video: How Couples Sleep Together | Cut
In a marriage, it is only natural for a husband and wife to live under the same roof, sleep in one bed and one room. However, why are there some couples who decide to sleep separately? Surely what we have in mind is bad assumptions, such as a marriage in trouble, not running as it should, not romantic, one of the partners no longer loves him, and various other negative thoughts.
In fact, it turns out behind all that, indeed there are couples who are forced not to sleep in the same bed, like after the birth of the first child. In this situation, a couple of husband and wife are troubled to become new parents, so they take turns to sleep in the child's room. Even some couples who have been married for 30 years have sometimes slept separately sometimes, for various reasons.
But what about when a newly married couple has to sleep separately? Is that healthy? What are the pros and cons of husband and wife sleeping separately?
READ ALSO: 7 Habits That Can Damage Marriage
The benefits of husband and wife sleep separately
Sleeping separately is normal for married couples, both long-married and newlyweds. Good or bad depends on the reason the couple is sleeping in a different bed.
For example, if a married couple has a different sleep pattern. Her husband may be the type of person who prefers to be active at night, while his wife is the type who is active in the morning. Of course when her husband works at night in the same room, it will interfere with his wife's resting time.
Sleeping separate beds can also be done to get quality rest hours. One partner may be disturbed by the sleep disturbance that the couple has, for example delirious, snoring, the habit of going back and forth outside the room in the middle of the night, and waking up at different times. This is where the benefits of sleeping separately make relationships harmonious.
Can it stay in harmony? Yes, of course. When one partner is interrupted by his break, of course it will make him feel tired while undergoing daily activities. When the night's rest is interrupted for quite a long time, he may be harboring resentment. Small problems that are buried to accumulate will cause big problems in a relationship.
READ ALSO: 7 things that covertly destroy the intimacy of a husband and wife
This buried irritation will eliminate your appreciation for your partner. Even you and your partner can argue for things that are not necessary and one of them can feel quickly hurt. If sleeping separately is done to harmonize a relationship, why not do it? However, still take the time to get a sex life, and give hugs and kisses before going to bed. This will protect your bond and your partner.
Disadvantages if husband and wife separate beds
When your reason for sleeping separately is because of a problem in a relationship, of course it will damage your intimacy. When you have a personal problem, then you ask your partner to stay away, this can also cause problems in your relationship.
Sleeping apart for these reasons, does not make the problem resolved, you will still find the problem. Making sleep separate as an excuse to avoid problems can lead to emptiness not only physically, but also emotionally. This vacuum can cause divorce.
You might want to regain your sense of individuality that was lost when you lived with your partner. Not that it is bad, it's just that, when you want to develop yourself, the mission and vision of marriage becomes chaotic. You and your partner will develop separately.
READ ALSO: 7 Tips for Marriage to Stay Romantic Even though It's been Married
The way you stay bound to each other is to start a routine discussion every day, don't just lose communication. You and your partner both have a life outside the home, do not let the problem 'get carried to bed', so the problem becomes a separate reason to sleep. If you really feel you need space for yourself, make sure you keep your marriage by having quality time together. Don't forget to visit each other's rooms, until finally you and your partner decide to share a room again.
Which must be considered when deciding to sleep separately
Before deciding to sleep separately, make sure the couple agrees and understands the conditions. According to Michael J. Breus, a clinical psychologist, said when one partner opposed the idea of separate sleep, cracks could occur in their relationship. When one of the partners feels neglected, intimacy will slowly disappear, this is what causes someone to look for other intimacy outside of their marriage.
The most important thing is that both partners get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation can cause several risks for various serious illnesses, such as cardiovascular problems, obesity, and diabetes. Some researchers find people who lack sleep quality show a low level of gratitude and are more selfish than people who have good sleep quality.
READ ALSO: 7 Tips for Raising Love