Contents:
- Medical Video: Orlando Woman Cancer Free after being Diagnosed with Breast Cancer During Pregnancy
- Understand your emotions
- Angry and scared
- Feel the need to hide your feelings
- Overreaction
- Feeling guilty and worried
- Communicate with one another
- Spare your time
- Start the conversation
- Calm your partner
- The third person
- Write it down
- After cancer treatment
Medical Video: Orlando Woman Cancer Free after being Diagnosed with Breast Cancer During Pregnancy
When your partner has breast cancer, maybe you will become very emotional. Some people think that you feel afraid or have negative thoughts. But what most people really don't know is that you also feel relieved that the person you love is still alive and can be cured of his illness. Having mixed feelings and reactions is very normal. The most important thing you need to remember is to keep positive thinking and communicate with your partner. To do this, you first need to understand your own emotions and reactions.
Understand your emotions
Angry and scared
You may feel shocked, distrustful, angry, and afraid when you hear that your partner has been diagnosed with breast cancer. You may feel your feelings mixed up, with all the questions in your mind about what will happen to your partner and the impact of breast cancer on your life. The first reaction was very normal. You need to know that you are not alone. Your partner feels the same way.
Feel the need to hide your feelings
Many people in this situation put on a strong and strong face in front of their partners. This indicates to the outside world that you are a loyal person, but it can also mean you avoid your own feelings. Even though you may believe that you can control the situation, you cannot lie to your own feelings. It doesn't matter if you show your emotions and cry.
Overreaction
Giving all your attention to your partner can actually make you feel uncomfortable. If you feel your reaction affects the person you love, you may need to tell him that your feelings are a reaction to the situation that happened, not to your partner. This might be difficult because people's needs generally may not be the same. Sometimes, honesty with your market is needed on this matter.
Feeling guilty and worried
You may feel guilty and helpless because you don't know how to help your partner. You may be worried about how to accompany your partner through treatment and overcome physical and emotional changes that can change your lifestyle. If you have children, you might be worried how to tell them. Of all that, you may feel guilty because you also worry about yourself. All these emotions are very normal.
The thought that your partner might die is scary. You might worry about how you can overcome your life without your partner, the financial impact without them, or if you have children who are very young, you are worried about the possibility of raising them yourself. You might feel yourself being selfish by thinking about it, but it's very normal for you to worry about thinking about your future.
Even though this is part of the adjustment to your partner's diagnosis, try not to feel burdened with what might happen, but focus on what is happening now. You might want to talk to someone if your reaction to a partner's diagnosis is bothering you or your partner. Try talking to people who aren't too close, maybe it's easier than talking to people you know. You might be able to discuss it with a partner doctor, or with a counselor.
Communicate with one another
The ability to talk and listen to someone is very meaningful and an important part of a lasting relationship. You may feel that after knowing your partner's breast cancer, the things you talked about before were irrelevant and meaningless. You might also find out how your partner feels without using words. Here are tips to help you communicate:
spare your time
Sometimes, it's hard to have quality time when you and your partner are busy. This will be more difficult when you already have a child. By being diagnosed with breast cancer, there will be a big change in your life. Spending time is very important. Look for a quiet place where you can't be bothered and give your partner full attention.
Start the conversation
You might feel awkward or don't know what to say. The best thing is to start your conversation with something comfortable and insensitive. The topic can be about your favorite movie or about your child and move on to something more serious. At that time, you should express your fears, worries, and the importance of your relationship.
Calm your partner
Your partner has gone through major changes, so have you. It is important for you to remember that you two are together through this. Make it clear that you want to understand their feelings.
The third person
Sometimes it will be difficult for you to communicate yourself. But maybe a therapist or counselor will help you to start a conversation.
Write it down
When talking becomes too difficult, you might be able to write a letter or a journal. Then, you can talk about it when you face each other. This will help you organize your thoughts and find the best way to express them.
When you understand your feelings, you can start communicating with your partner. There will be twists and turns, but as long as you can get through the trials together, your relationship will get stronger. Don't give up! Always show your partner that you love him and will not leave him.
After cancer treatment
Because treatment varies among people, the time needed to heal also varies. Chemotherapy may only last a few months, but hormone therapy can continue for years.
When your partner has completed their treatment, you may have mixed emotions. Your partner is also likely to feel the same way. The physical and emotional effects of breast cancer may still affect you and your partner even after the treatment ends.
Some of you may want to get on with life as usual, but there is a part of you that feels that your life will never be the same. Of course there is a feeling of relief after the treatment is over, but you can also feel that after there are no more hospital visits and extra responsibilities in caring for your partner, you feel you have lost your role.
Some couples feel that after cancer treatment, they become more adventurous, and some others can adjust to life which is never the same again. You and your partner will likely have a stronger bond, or you may also find that your feelings have changed. Whatever happens, breast cancer will affect your relationship.
If you and your partner can go through breast cancer smoothly, other challenges in life will feel easier to deal with. Even though it feels very heavy when it's happening, trials like this can make you understand your partner deeper, and make you both stronger.
In it together: for partners of people with breast cancer.
