Contents:
- Medical Video: How Your Childhood Affects Your Love Styles
- Couples can create a unique parenting style
- Tips for overcoming differences in views about parenting
- 1. Determine the goals and values that you want to instill
- 2. Understand each other
- 3. Don't criticize the couple in front of the child
- 4. Set boundaries
Medical Video: How Your Childhood Affects Your Love Styles
To be parents it is not easy, it needs hard work and smart work in educating children. Unfortunately, because of differences in background, it is not uncommon for you and your partner to have different parenting styles. For example, you want your child to be disciplined by always getting up early and taking a shower soon. Whereas your partner does not mind if the child wakes up late Well, differences in parenting often lead to debate between you and your partner, and confusion among children. Then what can be done?
Couples can create a unique parenting style
Every parent has a different parenting style. There is authoritarian parenting, in which children must always follow the parents' wishes because the rules do. There are also those who care for their children with a democratic pattern in which parents emphasize the choices and consequences that children must bear. Or maybe you are the type of parent over protective?
Actually, every parenting has its own weaknesses and advantages. However, if you and your partner are always quarreling about which is the best parenting style, you will both find it difficult to reap the benefits of each parenting style. Your care is not optimal.
Actually you and your partner do not need to debate what kind of parenting is most appropriate, for example between authoritarian or democratic. Precisely the key is to create child care patterns themselves, which is a combination of the perspective of husband and wife who complement each other.
This unique and balanced parenting style will be the best way to raise children. In addition to husband and wife knowing each other's boundaries (for example, it is forbidden to use violence at all including pinching), the child will also understand the limits and attitudes that parents expect against him.
Tips for overcoming differences in views about parenting
1. Determine the goals and values that you want to instill
Discuss with your partner about ideal parenting. Which must be considered and discussed, among others, what goals you want to achieve, what values you want to instill, and how to help children grow and develop.
For example, you both have the goal of raising a humble child who wants to instill the importance of gratitude. Now what is PR is how to take care of children to achieve goals and instill that value.
Try to discuss, for example, whether Dad's habit of buying a child is an expensive gift because the value of the test is good and can make him humble. When giving a gift or reward indeed it cannot teach children the importance of gratitude and humility, not getting used to it.
2. Understand each other
In this stage, you both have to be open-minded, not to blame, defend yourself, or feel right. Listen to your partner's opinion carefully. Instead of directly criticizing the pattern of parenting, it's better to first ask the point.
For example, your partner yells at a child. Don't get angry right away, but talk carefully and ask why the boy yelled. After the couple reveals the reason, convey your opinion without the intention of attacking. Say, "I think if we yell at Adik, he won't understand what we mean. All he caught was negative emotions and fear was yelled at, not a sense of responsibility for tidying up his toys. How do you think? "
Of course this open communication method is far more effective than just blaming the couple like, "Daddy snapped at me, really! Look, bro, now she's crying a lot. "
3. Don't criticize the couple in front of the child
Differences in parenting children are not uncommon to cause debate. However, differences in parenting need to be discussed alone. Avoid long debates or conflicts in front of your child.
For example, your partner has a habit of doing homework or school assignments, rather than letting the child work on their own responsibilities. If you disagree, do not blame the couple in front of the child by saying, "Mother always works on her duties Sister. No wonder you never learn and the value is always bad if you don't work on it! Let Sister try to do her own work, ma'am. "
Criticizing a partner in front of a child will give a wrong message to the child, as if one of his parents was wrong and the other must be true. Children can lose respect for your partner who is always blamed before him.
4. Set boundaries
The difference in parenting is only natural. However, it is better for both parents to set clear self limits. For example, if you want to discipline a child you may not use physical violence at all or you may not "bribe" the child to obey.
Determining boundaries will reinforce the value of what you want to instill in children. In addition, children also understand what behavior is acceptable and not.
