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Medical Video: Arousal, Drive, Attraction, and Desire
When hearing the word "asexual", many people don't understand what it really means. They think of a celibate monk. They assume that asexual is another word for defining people who have low sex drive or have never experienced experiences related to sexuality. However, all this does not reflect what real asexual is.
When talking about how we interpret sexual orientation, sexual attraction is a common thread to attract differences between one another. And, to a certain extent, sexual orientation is about what someone feels, not what they do.
Asexuality is sexual orientation, such as heterosexuality or homosexuality, which is characterized by a lack or absence of sexual desire or sexual attraction towards others.
Asexuality is not a sexual disorder
Sexuality can be seen in all aspects of our culture, from advertisements, films, to religious traditions. It may seem difficult for us to imagine how sexuality can not play any role, however small, in one's life. However, only because asexuality is not a common thing, does not mean this is a sexual disorder or mental illness.
Labeling asexuality as a disease is not right because it is as if this condition makes it difficult for those who have it. In fact, those who identify as asexual do not feel disturbed at all about their asexuality. By definition, a mental disorder or illness must be something that causes suffering, disability, or poses a health risk to the person who has it.
Asexuality does not mean there is something wrong with their body
Reporting from NY MagazineSex experts have theorized that the lack of sexual desire experienced by asexual people means that something is wrong with their body. However, research by Lori Brotto of the University of British Columbia has found that, in fact, asexual people are physically able to erect or undergo vaginal lubrication like everyone else.
Asexual is not the same as sexual dysfunction or celibacy. Some asexuals feel disgusted with the idea of 'sex' and choose not to engage in any form of sex for life, but do not apply to the whole.
Someone who is asexual can still date, engage in sex, masturbate, fall in love, get married, or have children. There are many reasons why an asexual might do the above without the need for sexual attraction. Experiencing sex drive or orgasm is also still possible for asexual people.
Some asexuals have no masturbation experience, and maybe a little experience of sexual arousal. On the other hand, some asexuals continue to experience masturbation and sex drive. Asexual people still have sexual urges, but they don't connect that connection to anyone. So, they have no sexual attraction to other people.
Quoted from The Telegraph, Michael Doré, a mathematical researcher at the University of Birmingham and executive of the London Asexuality Conference, explained asexuality by analogy to "remote islands". Imagine you, a heterosexual, stranded on a desert island only with people of the same sex as you. As a heterosexual, you don't feel sexual attraction to them because your sex is the same as yours. However, you still have sexual desire and can still experience orgasm.
Asexuals can have a love affair without sex
Just because an asexual negates sex in his life does not mean they do not experience or desire romanticism. Desire for sex and love or affection are two different things. Some asexuals can have relationships with other people. However, the partner may not be able to channel his desire in the relationship, or the asexual individual may volunteer to have sex only for the sake of his partner.
Asexuality is not defined by whether a person has or has never had sex, but whether the person wants to have sex or not. If an asexual decides to have sex, he will still be asexual afterwards - because asexuality is part of his identity.
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