Contents:
- Medical Video: Anger Management Techniques
- Don't say these words when people are grieving
- 1. "Over time you will get used to it"
- 2. "Why can it be like this?"
- 3. "What can I do for you?"
- 4. "He is in a better place"
- 5. "I understand what you feel"
Medical Video: Anger Management Techniques
As if someone who has just achieved success and garnered many congratulations, the person who is grieving too. The difference is, those who are enveloped in sadness need a lot of encouragement, enthusiasm, and motivation to reduce their sadness. But remember, not all the positive words you make are appropriate for the condition of grieving. So, what are the words that should not be spoken to people who are grieving more?
Don't say these words when people are grieving
Sadness left by loved ones is not easy to pass. However, anyone must be prepared for that condition whenever it occurs. Robert Zucker, a counselor and author of booksThe Grief and Loss Journey: Helping Yourself and Your Child When Grief Is Shared, said that sadness is a normal response when things happen that conflict with our expectations.
You as the closest person in charge to calm friends, relatives, or family members who are grieving, must be clever to choose words that may and may not be said to the person. The following are a few sentences that you should avoid saying to those who are grieving:
1. "Over time you will get used to it"
According to Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, a psychologist in Chicago, that most people might try to show kindness and attention to people who are in a frenzy, but not infrequently what you say can actually make their feelings worse.
One of them said they would soon get used to this loss. This speech is indeed intended to encourage the person, but for now their thoughts may still be fulfilled by the departure of loved ones.
How much better, you replace by saying "I may not really understand what you feel, but try to stay up". Then let them do what can make them feel more relieved, perhaps by contemplating or crying until the feelings improve.
2. "Why can it be like this?"
It's normal to question what happened behind the event, this includes human nature. However, have you ever thought there were tens of people who were mourning? If everyone asks this question, what does a grieving person feel?
That is why, avoid asking this question to those who are sad to be left behind, because they could hate to have to remember again and again the cause of death of the closest person.
Instead, just be on his side until he is calm. If you want, he will pour out his heart at that time to you.
3. "What can I do for you?"
There is nothing wrong indeed by offering help to people who are losing, but most likely they will just shake their heads without needing anything.
Instead of having to ask and get an uncertain answer, it's better to do what you can. Whether it's accompanying him all day or helping on the funeral day of his loved one, according to Kenneth J. Doka, PhD, a consultant at the Hospice Foundation of America.
In essence, do what is best without having to offend people who are grieving.
4. "He is in a better place"
The goal may be good, namely to encourage and calm their feelings that are enveloped in sadness. Even so, not everyone who is sad can accept this statement. On the contrary, what they want at that moment may be only their loved ones who are beside them now, not in "better places".
Again, you should accompany them until they are really calm or let them spend their own time trying to give away the departure of a loved one.
5. "I understand what you feel"
Avoid saying this sentence if you have never been in the person's position. Because of course, you certainly do not really understand what deep sadness he is feeling.
Even if you have experienced things that are not much different, don't assume that you really know exactly what they feel. Everyone has different ways of grieving. The response that you and they do when your loved ones leave may not be the same.
On the other hand, it's also important not to compare the sadness you have experienced. However, you can still provide psychological support to them.
