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Medical Video: FEAR OF INTIMACY & the 5 Ways to Overcome it | Kati Morton - Love, Relationships, Dating & Sex
Whether it's because of being frantically haunted by stressful daily routines or nervous because it's your first night, sex can make you nervous and anxious - is my bed's performance good enough to satisfy a partner? Will I be able to orgasm later? Will it hurt? Does he like my body shape? Have the clothes been removed? Etc.
Anxiety is a natural thing, and anxiety to have sex can reach anyone - no matter the age and history of your sexual experience. Fortunately, there are many choices for dealing with sexual anxiety. For example, by trying variations in sex positions that are most comfortable for you and your partner, to help reduce the nervousness that you experience during sex.
Position is intimate that is effective in relieving stress and anxiety
1. Joint masturbation
Joint masturbation is an easy and enjoyable stress-free intercourse position. Masturbation is often terminated as a position of intercourse, perhaps because many people do not consider the activity to be 'real' sex unless there is penetration involved. In fact, joint masturbation is a great way to learn about each other's desires and pleasures while enjoying a satisfying orgasm.
Because each of you "takes care" of yourself, there will be no pressure to look perfect. "Joint masturbation can be used as a foreplay or main menu," said Dr. Martha Tara Lee, clinical sexologist who practices at Eros Coaching.
"This position can be very helpful in situations where both parties do not feel ready, physically capable, socially free, or willing to engage in certain vaginal penetrative or penetrative sex acts, but still want to engage in sexual activity together "
2. Missionary
Missionaries are the most common and classic sex-related positions. This position allows you and your partner to look at each other so that it helps you enjoy the moment more, which can help shed the anxiety around sex itself.
3. Spooning
Many people feel eye contact during sex, especially for the first time, as something that weighs on the mind. If you feel that way, the position of spooning is the choice of the most intimate position for those who enjoy sex that is relaxed, slow, and more intimate. Spooning is a sex position that requires you and your partner to lie side by side facing the same direction. In general, men will "enter from behind" while hugging their partner when penetrating.
4. Woman on Top
If your female partner feels anxious because she has limited control on the bed, try to swap positions so she is on top and you (the man) are below. In this way, your partner can adjust the speed and rhythm according to his own desires without fear of being hunted for time.
Tips to overcome anxiety when having sex
In addition to experimenting with sex positions, the most powerful way to get rid of anxiety during sex is to get rid of what is the cause of your confusion. But this method is not always effective for everyone at all times. Fortunately, you can still have a pleasant sexual experience when haunted by stress. Just follow the simple steps below:
1. Pull and exhale deeply
Before entering into an intimate position, it's good for you to practice special breathing techniques to help you be more relaxed. Lay on your back with your knees bent and your feet steady on the surface. Take a deep breath through your nose, and throw it through your mouth while you try to throw away all negative thoughts. Then put one hand on the stomach and focus attention on the ups and downs of the stomach while breathing. And if your mind is disturbed during sex, return the focus to the moment by breathing deeply through the diaphragm.
The right breathing technique can really help you get to a satisfying orgasm, said sex educator Yvonne Fulbright PhD, quoted from Women's Health. Good breathing facilitates blood circulation which encourages increased sexual response and response.
2. Spend the first half with foreplay
Fast sex is the main choice for many people to have sex while being stressed, but this might not lead to a satisfying sex experience. You can achieve sexual satisfaction when you are stressed by prioritizing foreplay sessions, such as hugging and kissing, shared bathing, or romantic massage before continuing to penetrative sex. Prioritizing foreplay as the main dish of your sexual activity can also be a very effective gate to release stress for both of you.
3. Don't chase orgasm
It is impossible to completely empty your mind during intercourse, but you can train yourself to focus on the sensations you feel from all of your five senses rather than filling your mind with how to orgasm or thinking about a monthly shopping list tomorrow. Research shows that focusing on what you enjoy at that moment can arouse and maintain your sexual desire.
4. Use sex lubricants
Excessive anxiety in bed can result in vaginal dryness, even if your mind is really excited. This is because the brain has difficulty sending the right signal to your intimate area. But you can work around this by using sex lubricants as soon as you start the action, so you don't hurry ilfeel with an uncomfortable, uncomfortable sensation down there.
