Don't Use Emotions, Here's the Right Tips for Asking a Couple to Change

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Asking for a partner to change isn't as easy as it seems. In fact, you might have asked, demanding repeated nagging because of the bad attitude that continues to be repeated but this still doesn't work. Maybe you need another way to get your partner to change, for example in a more positive way without the need to pull the emotional vein to trigger a fight. But beforehand, let's find out first if someone basically can change.

Can someone change?

fight with a partner

Every human being must have advantages and disadvantages. Various shortcomings in yourself especially other people sometimes make you irritated and want to change it. Then the question is, can someone change? The answer is of course you can. It's just that changing one's behavior is not as easy as turning the palm of the hand.

Personality and attitude are things that have been embedded within and become a pattern that will continue to repeat itself. Therefore, it takes more effort and very strong intention to change it.

You need commitment and commitment that must come from within yourself. However, encouragement from the closest person can help motivate someone to change.

The best way to ask your partner to change

communication with communication partners in relationships

Here are some positive ways you can try to get your partner to change, namely:

1. Be warm

Almost everyone does not like to be scolded or treated harshly, but the average person prefers to be treated gently and with a warm attitude. Quoted from WebMD, this attitude also applies when asking for a partner to change.

Having a warm attitude means showing your partner that you have empathy, compassion and a good listener. Compared to asking him to change his bad attitude by nagging and even shouting, it would be much better if you invited him to talk and show a warm personal.

Even though it's not easy, you need to try this one. You can show empathy and continue to support it when you are actually upset because he keeps repeating his mistakes. For example, you don't like it when your partner always uses a high tone of voice when you're angry and eager to change it. Well, the way you need to do is stay warm and listen to his scolding until it's finished without being provoked by emotion.

After he finishes the scolding, then you then talk and respond in a way that remains elegant without showing the slightest anger. In this way, over time the couple will realize that anger does not need to use high intonation. In addition, the goal is for couples to see a good example of how they should behave in the manner you are demonstrating.

2. Request without demanding

If it turns out that the couple is not aware of his mistakes even though you have exemplified how to behave when angry with him, then do this one method. You can invite him to speak kindly and ask for it without seeming demanding.

How to? You do this by telling your partner about your request and how it can affect your relationship. Explain patiently and calmly about the influence of his attitude towards you and also the relationship. Remember, you only need to explain it instead of cornering it or even bringing up the mistakes.

A warm and gentle approach can be an effective way for couples to open their hearts and minds to practice the input given. Because, when you ask for it well, there is no reason for the couple to be defensive. Instead, he will accept it openly and begin to think that what you say is true.

Don't Use Emotions, Here's the Right Tips for Asking a Couple to Change
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