Contents:
- Medical Video: Black Holes Explained – From Birth to Death
- Self-destructive behavior is a reflection of bad self-defense
- Self-destructive behavior can backfire in your relationship
- Various things that need to be done to help couples to no longer damage themselves
Medical Video: Black Holes Explained – From Birth to Death
Stress due to certain problems that have not been resolved or because of other psychological factors that we do not fully understand can lead to self-destructive behavior. There are many types of self-destructive behaviors, such as smoking, self-harm, hunger strikes, "hobbies" for drinking alcohol, and using drugs. Maybe not you, but your partner is experiencing this. The habits he does can undermine his physical and mental health slowly. Then, how do you help your partner get out of the black hole?
Self-destructive behavior is a reflection of bad self-defense
What others see from the outside is actually a form of defense mechanism to deal with negative situations. Everyone has this mechanism, but different forms can be different.
When you face a difficult or uncomfortable situation, your mind needs a certain way to escape from the problem or to make the incident and unpleasant experience feel better.
This is because instinctively humans always avoid negative feelings such as sadness, anger, disappointment, shame, and fear. Your mind will activate this self-defense mechanism automatically, which means it is beyond your awareness and control. In addition, you are also required not to vent negative emotions in society and the social environment.
However, these emotions don't really disappear from your mind. You can only press or set it aside. For example, couples tend to smoke or drink beer when they start feeling stressed. The stress certainly does not really disappear by rinsing nicotine or alcohol alone. After he finished doing it, the stress was still haunting.
Therefore, self defense mechanisms are not a good way to solve problems, but merely natural reactions when faced with problems.
Self-destructive behavior can backfire in your relationship
Having a self-destructive partner can make you scared and worried. As a couple, you certainly don't want something bad to happen to someone you love. However, changing a partner to leave a habit that might have ingrained is not as easy as turning the palm of the hand. You have to understand that you don't have super powers that can make a couple abandon behavior that they might not be ready to let go of.
The effort that you do is also usually interpreted negatively by the couple. Lisa Ferentz, LCSW-C., Etc., an psychotherapist in America states that people who have destructive behavior will see your "rescue" effort as a form of betrayal or your inability to understand themselves and how they feel. They can even accuse you of judging him.
Not infrequently, they actually try to influence you to justify their behavior. In fact, when you have strong evidence of what they are doing is the wrong thing, they will protect their actions by lying to you.
Various things that need to be done to help couples to no longer damage themselves
Although it is indeed difficult, it does not mean you ignore the condition of your partner. You need to prepare physically, mentally, and extra patience from within yourself to deal with it. Remember that everyone has their own defense mechanism. Don't make stress when dealing with a partner instead turn into a host weapon for you, so that it is carried over to the negative behavior of the partner you are trying to change.
To help couples, there are a number of things you need to do, such as:
- Tell your partner that you love and care for him.
- Show your partner that it's never too late to change and you shouldn't feel doubt that your partner can change.
- Show your love by telling them that you understand the suffering that is being felt.
- Tell him that he has the right to get support and you will be the one who is always by his side to listen to all his complaints.
- Invite your partner slowly to discuss that there are other ways to overcome the pressure and anger that are experienced other than by self-destructing.
- Invite your partner to meet an expert therapist to get guidance on ways that need to be done without telling him that he is sick and needs help.
After trying these things and apparently not finding a bright spot, you need to understand that You can't change the person you don't want to change. A love affair is like a partnership where both parties are equally in an equal and ideal position must have a sense of mutual assistance, and respect and respect each other.
You cannot fight alone when the person you want to change just feels fine with the behavior and tries to maintain the situation. No matter how much you love your partner, you have the right to end the relationship if your partner's behavior does not show a desire to recover.
Leaving a partner who does not want to change does not mean not caring, but you actually save yourself from the bondage of people who are selfish about your relationship.
By choosing to survive, you are allowing yourself to continue to be in a state under pressure to see the person you love doing a series of negative behaviors that satisfy themselves without thinking of your feelings as a partner. At least, you have tried to help couples to lead a better and positive life.
