Contents:
- Medical Video: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | Robert Waldinger
- The first two years of marriage are the foundation of the household for the future
- What is the trigger?
- Problems in marriage are natural, provided ...
Medical Video: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | Robert Waldinger
The first two years of marriage are often a frightening specter for newlyweds. People say, the first two years of marriage is the most important period that can determine the future of your household. Unfortunately, the first few years also did not escape being attacked by conflicts and hot bickering that could lead to separation. Why is that?
The first two years of marriage are the foundation of the household for the future
Dr. Ted Huston of the University of Texas at Austin initially wanted to find out how important the early years of marriage were to the integrity of the household by observing 156 couples who had been married since 1981. All of them, 68 couples claimed to have had a happy household, 32 couples often fought and fight but still survive, and 56 others are divorced.
Researchers found that the difference between a group of happy and unhappy couples can be predicted over the first two years of their marriage - even the contrast can be seen as soon as they bind the sacred promise. The study shows that changes in attitudes or situations in marriage during the first two years determine the fate of households in the long run.
If the newlyweds have started to experience disappointment in their first year, this is a sign of an emergency.
Believe it or not, couples who get divorced in the first two years have shown feelings of disappointment and negative emotions (such as a lack of trust and decreased affection) towards each other even after the first two months of marriage.
What is the trigger?
Further explained by Wylie Goodman, PhD, a clinical psychologist in New York City, the problem at the beginning of marriage is actually rooted in both parties who do not quite understand each other. During courtship, you may still cover up a little habit or bad temper you can make ilfeel. Likewise with your partner.
Well, when finally living together, all the egos and original traits began to emerge which might be quite shocking. Finally, this can easily lead to bickering and disagreement - from trivial to large.
On the other hand, it could also be caused because there are still problems that have not been resolved before they are married. Some of the main objectives that must be completed in the first year, including how to allocate and handle money, who will do what tasks, how to spend free time, find time to have sex, deal with in-laws, understand differences in principles, learn how to deal with conflict, and discuss expectations.
Unfortunately, many couples avoid talking about sensitive things, so they continue to accumulate in their hearts and become a burden before finally exploding to the surface. This certainly can be detrimental to your household.
Even so, not all people who know their partners well before marriage will guarantee that they avoid conflict early in their marriage. Problems will still exist, it's just that maybe both of them are more adept at completing them.
Problems in marriage are natural, provided ...
The first two years of marriage are not always a difficult time. On the contrary, this can be a place to get to know your partner's personality more deeply, which certainly also accepts all your partner's strengths and weaknesses.
Dr. Huston explained that his main priority remained in the happiness of the married couple's household. Because, it is not possible for a marriage to run smoothly without any conflict to test it.
The key is to always take the time to talk to each other honestly and openly to each other. Confront all the problems that exist at the beginning of the marriage and make it as learning for the future.
The point is having a problem at the beginning of a marriage relationship is normal, it can even be a challenge for a pair of newlyweds. Provided that you and your partner know how to solve the right thing so that it does not make the conflict more protracted.
Because at this time, you are required to be able to adapt to various problems that are present. On the one hand, the first few years of marriage can also increase optimism for the harmony of your long-term household relationships.
