Contents:
- Medical Video: Q&A: How to Handle a Love Triangle — Susan Winter
- As humans, it's natural to love two people (or more) at once
- Trapped in a love triangle, which one should you choose?
- 1. Try asking yourself
- 2. Make a comparison
- 3. Plan for the future
Medical Video: Q&A: How to Handle a Love Triangle — Susan Winter
Being trapped in a love triangle is like stopping at a crossroads without knowing what awaits you at the end of the trip. Choosing the A, you are afraid of hurting the feelings of the B (and may be afraid to lose the happiness that has been offered, but not by the A). Vice versa. The more protracted trapped in this situation, the more likely you are to lose both. What should I do then?
As humans, it's natural to love two people (or more) at once
We often assume that attraction to others will disappear once exploring a commitment, whether it's dating or being married. The fact is that interest is a natural human instinct that will continue to exist at any time and is inevitable. This is because when we see other people, the brain will begin processing the visual information we see and make instant judgments based on one's attractiveness.
This instinct is based on the subconscious impulse of the brain of ancient human heritage that judged sex as a purely biological activity to multiply in order to increase its chances of having more offspring in the world and ensuring our species survive.
That is why many experts say that loving two or more people is not impossible. Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., a UCLA psychology professor, even likens love triangles to ice cream. Chocolate and strawberry flavored ice cream tastes different, but it's equally delicious. Add more fun if you can combine it at once, like the taste of Neapolitan ice cream. But of course the love affair isn't as easy as choosing an ice cream flavor, right?
Durvasula then added that humans are complex creatures in terms of feelings. You can get inner satisfaction by establishing relationships with intelligent and open-minded people, for example. But on the other hand, you also get its own satisfaction when hanging out with people who are humorous and full of surprises. Interest in other people like this is natural, and natural.
So it's possible, even if you love two people with different traits at the same time. This is because of the characteristics, personality, and maybe even the physical characteristics between the two people that can complement each other what you need in an ideal relationship.
Well, do not forget also if biologically, love is a surge of dopamine hormone that regulates mood and happiness. So even if you have a crush on this one person, but feel attracted to other people, this is because there is an increase in the hormone dopamine in the brain which is entirely natural and beyond your control.
Trapped in a love triangle, which one should you choose?
Even though it's natural, you certainly won't be able to keep being trapped in a love triangle. Maybe you feel that you love both. However, now is the time for you to make a final decision. Not only will it gradually make you stressed out yourself, "hanging on" the other person's future will also have a negative impact on the quality of your relationship with those around you.
1. Try asking yourself
You can confide with others about your dilemma. But usually a problem will get a bright spot when you reflect and ask yourself. Because you alone know yourself better than anyone else. You are sure of what you need, but just don't know how to express it
Alexandra Solomon, Ph.D., an assistant professor at Northwestern University, advises you to ask these two questions yourself before deciding to hurry to want to explore a relationship with A or B:
- "Which relationship do I live more wholeheartedly?" Among the two relationships that you live in, you may know which relationships you are taking seriously and are more comfortable; and which ones are just fun
- "What keeps me from making choices?"
2. Make a comparison
As long as you are involved with two different people, Ada will find out more about what are the weaknesses and strengths of each. There may be some things that you can tolerate, but some are not. Compare which figure makes you more comfortable and can be yourself, if you are together. Maybe in this way, you find the right person for you.
3. Plan for the future
You have made a comparison, it is time for you to think about how your relationship will continue. Quoted from Our Everyday Life, Andrew G. Marshall, a marriage therapist, said that an important quality in relationships is intimacy, enthusiasm and commitment.
If you want to continue to a more serious level (marriage), of course the figure you love must have more positive traits for the future together, such as a sense of responsibility and career stability.
Try to find out these two characteristics of the interactions that you normally do. Then, understand who the vision and mission of the future really suits you. That way, you will be more able to establish your heart to get out of this dark love triangle.
