Why Do Some People Pretend Orgasm During Sex?

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When having sex with your partner, of course you want to be able to satisfy your partner by giving her an orgasm. Orgasm is the peak part of the sexual response cycle, or we usually call it a climax. There are several characteristics when reaching orgasm, of which are the muscles in the legs experiencing seizures, the muscles in the vagina contract, the uterus also contracting. Whereas in men, the muscles in the penis contract and there is semen ejaculation. In addition, heart rate, blood pressure and breathing are faster than normal. However, during sex, not infrequently, there are couples who cannot reach orgasm, thus giving a response in the form of a fake orgasm or pretending to be an orgasm.

Who is more likely to fake orgasms, women or men?

According to Western University psychologists, Claire Salisbury and William Fisher, about 70 percent of women fake orgasms, while 70 percent of men experience genuine orgasms. Based on the study Journal of Sex Research involving 281 students from the University of Kansas also found that women faked orgasms more often, about 67 percent of women had faked orgasms, while men were only 28 percent. One of the reasons men fake orgasms is that they feel tired and want to stop after having sex too long.

Why can't orgasm so that you fake orgasm?

Based on research studies conducted by Claire Salisbury and William Fisher, there are several factors that make a person fake orgasm. For women, fear of hurting their partner's ego is the reason for faking orgasm. Still based on studies Journal of Sex Research, people fake orgasms because their partners can't satisfy them during sex. This concern is also experienced by women, so it becomes a psychological burden that must be borne by women. When having sex, women cannot enjoy it.

Even though sex is not just a necessity, it should also be something fun for both parties to do. This can also be caused by a lack of emotional commitment between the two parties, usually due to problems that arise in a relationship. These problems sometimes stretch emotional bonds.

According to Laura Berman, PhD, an educator and therapist sex & relationship, when someone fakes orgasm, it is necessary to further analyze the reasons for things from his past related to sexual matters. Like, did he ever get sexual education when he was little? This can be one of the reasons a person cannot get an orgasm, so he often falsifies it. Sex is considered to be a 'dirty' topic of conversation, generally this happens to women.

Space to find out about sex is limited. Indeed, women today can search through the internet, but to ask directly in certain forums is still limited. Talking something vulgar is sometimes considered taboo by society.

In addition, the concept of yourself, how does one see sexuality? Does he feel comfortable and confident with himself? Or does he feel ashamed of himself? The concept of him can influence his sexual activity. When he is confident, he will not worry about many things and enjoy sex, so he can reach true orgasm. Many of the fears that he thinks affect his performance when having sex.

One of the fears is that one is afraid of not being able to orgasm. This has been thought of during sex. When we think too hard to reach orgasm, we won't even get it. Indeed there is the term "pretend until it becomes real", but for orgasm, the term is incorrect.

In addition, women feel that they will hurt a man's self-esteem if he doesn't reach orgasm. Wrong indeed, when revealing fake orgasms to your partner can also hurt your partner. Make your partner reach orgasm like heavy responsibility. Women are also faced with other difficulties such as women's discomfort to stimulate her own body to reach orgasm.

How about men?

Although faking orgasms is more often done by women, men also have several factors to fake orgasms. Men who experience premature ejaculation choose to fake orgasms, to cover up the ejaculation too quickly. This was revealed by urologist Craig Niederberger, MD, FACS from the University of Illinois.

When men feel unable to orgasm, they choose to cover it up instead of talking with their partner. This is because men have high self-esteem when talking about sexual satisfaction problems. Another reason is when men feel 'bonding' with their partners is fading away. Striking relationships are one of the reasons men fake orgasms.

Is it normal to just fake orgasm?

Judging from the factors revealed, it can be concluded that having a fake orgasm is not normal. This can also refer to your health problems, such as problems with libido. Based on the results of surveys both women and men have indeed fake orgasms, but fake orgasms carried out continuously will make you even more burdened. Sex is only a need to satisfy a partner, no longer the need of both parties. Of course, slowly you will relax your relationship and your partner. Fake orgasm is also one reason you will look for another escape to get satisfaction.

How to handle it?

Talk well with your partner, about what you like and dislike, to sex problems. Building communication between two parties is very important to do. Communication can make your relationship and your partner more harmonious and 'bound'. If you are afraid of hurting your partner's heart, you can invite him to go on vacation or please him first, then when the conditions and atmosphere are comfortable to use talking privately, you can express your heart's content. Based on the survey, there were men who did know that women faked orgasms, only this was not communicated by both parties.

Masturbation is good for stimulating you to reach orgasm, getting to know yourself and how to stimulate yourself. This will make you more confident. If you still find it difficult to overcome this problem, consult your doctor or therapist.

Sometimes there is a false awareness created by pornographic films. The scene in the film might provide excessive expectations. In the end when it doesn't meet expectations, fake orgasms become an alternative. You must be honest with your partner about your expectations, let your partner do the same. Then both of you can make a deal. You and your partner both want to satisfy one another, right?

Why shouldn't you fake orgasm

Faking orgasm is the right choice when you assume that it will keep you and your partner in harmony. In fact, orgasm that is actually able to make you and your partner more 'bound'. Orgasms can release hormones oxytocin, known as 'love hormone'. According to research in a journal Monograph Communicationthe benefit of orgasm itself is to make you and your partner more open.

As mentioned above, sometimes your partner can find out when you fake orgasm. When this happens and is not communicated, it can cause distrust between you and your partner.