Contents:
- Medical Video: 5 Signs of Passive Aggressive Communications
- The characteristics of a passive aggressive person
- Change aggressive passive behavior
- 1. Find out the cause of your behavior
- 2. Understand the pattern
- 3. Think before acting
- 4. Learn to accept volatile emotions
- 5. Honest in expressing your intentions and feelings
Medical Video: 5 Signs of Passive Aggressive Communications
The term passive aggressive may be strange to your ears, but this behavior pattern is often found everyday. In your life, you must know at least one passive aggressive person. It could also turn out that you own the tendency. Passive aggressive is a way for someone to express disappointment or an implied anger, aka indirect. Usually this attitude is driven by fear or reluctance to express negative emotions directly.
Passive aggressive is usually characterized by harboring negative emotions so that these buried emotions will unconsciously be revealed through your actions or words. Or you often feel that other people cannot understand and obey your wishes but you cannot be angry. In the end, you will only silence the person until the person realizes what he made wrong. Do you feel that you often experience this? Read the explanation below to check whether you are a passive aggressive person and how to change that behavior.
The characteristics of a passive aggressive person
Even though there are quite a lot of passive aggressive people, this trait is not easily recognized. In most cases, passive aggressive people will not even realize or may deny that they have this tendency. So, pay close attention to the following characteristics and examples of aggressive passive behavior. If you feel that most of the signs mentioned are in accordance with your condition, you might be a passive aggressive person.
- Sulking and sulking when upset
- Harbor emotions so you can avoid conflict
- Do not like to talk straightforwardly
- Often uses sarcasm or sarcasm
- Ending arguments or arguments with words such as, "Whatever," "Yes already," or "Ok, fine!”
- Always be negative and cynical
- Not confident
- Often complaining that he is not valued or always cheated
- Tend to blame the situation or other people when making mistakes
- Heartfelt if told or asked for help
- By deliberately forgetting, procrastinating, or not completing a job to the maximum if you object to the work done
- Expect that other people can understand the contents of your thoughts and feelings
Change aggressive passive behavior
Passive aggressive is a behavior pattern that is learned and developed independently, not inherited genetically. So, anyone can change that behavior if they have strong motivation. Usually this behavior appears slowly since you were a child. If the child grows up with threats or punishments every time he shows negative emotions, he will learn to harbor those emotions and instinctively avoid fighting. However, this behavior can also arise if a person has never learned to express their opinions or feelings openly. It could be because of lack of open communication with parents and caregivers or because children are taught that anger is an unacceptable emotion. Here are five main keys that must be mastered by people who are passive aggressive in order to control this tendency.
1. Find out the cause of your behavior
By knowing what causes your aggressive passive behavior, you will realize and accept that these traits will not benefit anyone. Maintaining these traits is tantamount to problems with the people around you. For example, you start behaving passively aggressively because your parents used to behave like that. From there, you learn that these traits actually cause estrangement between your relationship and your parents. In order not to repeat the same mistakes, you will be more motivated to change your current nature.
2. Understand the pattern
Aggressive passivity must emerge every time there is a trigger. So, really understand your behavior patterns. This can be done routinely writing a diary so that you can look back on certain events with a more objective view. Over time you will memorize whatever triggers your aggressive passivity. The experience and knowledge will then become a reference when negative emotions begin to hit. If you already feel passive aggressive signs in your words or actions, hold yourself back and force yourself to think again before it's too late.
3. Think before acting
The trick is to use logic. For example, you are upset because your partner has eaten first before picking you up. Before you start sulking and silence your partner, think about it first. Did you invite her to eat? Or do you expect that he already knows you want to eat together? Keep in mind that other people will never be able to fulfill your desires if you never convey directly what you want.
The logic seems simple, but if you are emotionally stricken, it's usually hard to think clearly. To make it easier, create your own special mantra in practicing thinking habits before acting. For example, remember that it is not someone else's job to read your mind, but you must express it yourself.
4. Learn to accept volatile emotions
People who are passively aggressive find it difficult to manage negative emotions such as grief, disappointment, or anger. That is why you prefer not to show it directly. So, you must learn to understand that negative emotions are something natural, both to be felt and expressed. There is no perfect person in this world, so that anger or sadness can be experienced by anyone. If it is difficult to process these emotions, you can devote your heart to friends you trust or seek professional help such as counselors and psychologists.
5. Honest in expressing your intentions and feelings
Get used to being honest and open every time you feel a certain emotion. Although openness risks causing fights or conflicts, at least when fighting you can communicate with each other and express their intentions more clearly. That way, solving problems becomes easier than if you keep quiet and hope that other people can change according to your expectations. Besides, not all fights are bad, really.
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