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Medical Video: Things To Talk About With Your Girlfriend (With 15 tips)
You might think that after being legitimately a husband and wife, you both will be open, relaxed and comfortable to talk about sex with each other. Incidentally, you have long kept a sex fantasy that you want to try with your partner. Moreover, referring to the advice of sex articles in the magazine, "The key to a fantastic and satisfying marital sex life is honest and open partner communication."
In fact, the idea of talking about what you want in bed to your partner makes hair goose bumps first. Sex is a sensitive topic. Quite often many couples choose to be silent because they are afraid that their fantasies are considered strange, or simply do not want to touch each other's feelings.
It is this mindset that is quietly the main cause of why over time many couples become dissatisfied with each other, which eventually spreads to other household matters. Doesn't sound like an ideal household, does it?
Actually, husband and wife sex chat doesn't need to bemeticulous this. Just like establishing effective communication outside the bedroom, there are several important guidelines for communicating in bed. And if you do it right, talking sex outright with your partner can really boost the quality of your sex life while also strengthening your intimacy.
Here's how to discuss sex with a partner
1. You must know what you want to talk about first
Think carefully about what you want, what is the problem (if any). For example, if the mainstay maneuver was able to bring you orgasm but not now, or if there is a change in what you like - including the matter of the frequency of lovemaking. Because if you don't voice your opinions and / or concerns, how can he know?
But, try to be more specific about what you want to say and word well, so you can help your partner better understand your needs. What you will say must show that you are trying to establish cooperation in order to improve the quality of your sex life, not just making a complaint to strip down the lack of a partner in bed. Think about what you feel if the role is reversed.
2. Don't bring it up in the bedroom
Talk bluntly about your sexual needs since the beginning has always been the best solution. But spontaneity is in place, and talking about sex after or after sex is not the best time to point out mistakes or dissect the performance of a partner in bed (unless you really just want to praise them). This is the moment where we are at our lowest point. Because if you corner your partner suddenly when he is careless, you just make him angry and quickly defend yourself.
Make sure that both parties are ready physically and mentally to discuss their needs, give a signal of invitation to specifically discuss four eyes so that each has enough time to think about what they want to say. And don't discuss it in the bedroom. The bedroom must be an intimate escape for rest, not a place for problem shedding.
Also, be aware that conversations about husband and wife sex can continue more than one conversation. You both don't have to complete all topics in a discussion session. Chat about sex should be the topic of everyday conversation in the routines of a married couple - even if it's not something you normally talk about.
3. Ensure comfort when discussing
Before you start discussing, make a guarantee that you feel safe and unencumbered when expressing your heart's content, for example, promising not to laugh or chat on terms of only four eyes, without the presence of a cellphone or when the children are asleep.
Also respect differences in sexual interests. Affairs agree not to agree to do certain activities, you can compromise and exchange opinions. But, never ignore or reject your partner's proposals.
4. Don't criticize
Design the conversation theme in such a way that the main subject is you. But, be gentle when talking by assuming that your partner also wants the best for both of you. For example, "I love you, and I want to feel more intimate with you. Not that you are wrong, but this is more than what I want. But I also need input from you. "Don't also say:" We need to talk about our gloomy sex life "or" If you love me, you definitely want to do blablabla for me. "
Don't point and don't make assumptions. Simply explain clearly what you feel is a problem in your sex life, and ask your partner if he is aware of the same thing. Once the time has come for your partner to express his heart, listen without interrupting. Let your partner share what he wants from you too. Remember, sex is a two-way path. In this way, you will feel more supported and connected to each other.
5. Give praise when in bed
When making love, ask for feedback from your partner about the maneuver you are doing, whether he likes it or not. Every time you ask a question or do something different than usual, wait for your partner's reaction. You can also ask your partner to guide how / what you should do. In this way you can avoid negative criticism about your actions.
If you like what your partner is doing, give praise on the spot. It's okay, praise and vocal positive reinforcement during sex is actually highly recommended. Praise will encourage him to be more enthusiastic and continue what he is doing, which in the end will also bear sweet fruit for you. You can also tell your partner 10 things you really like about him, for example, as foreplay.
In the end, it is important to respect each other for communication and advice / guidance triggered by your partner. This will help build trust between you. It also trains the stability of sexual communication between you, so that the quality of your intimacy in and outside the bedroom also increases.
