Contents:
- Medical Video: What Do Men Need To Know About Divorce?
- 1. Make sure the divorce is legal
- 2. Ask how long your partner has divorced and how he feels about it
- 3. Ask if there are restrictions made between him and his ex-partner
- 4. Find out how you feel
Medical Video: What Do Men Need To Know About Divorce?
Deciding to marry someone who has been divorced must be carefully considered. Even though there is nothing wrong, you cannot arbitrarily decide to build a household with it without sufficient consideration. For someone who has just been married for several years without having a child, divorce can feel like a normal breakup. However, divorce for someone who has been married for a long time or has a child is certainly much more complicated.
Regardless of the state of her previous marriage, a clinical psychologist in Manhattan, Joseph Cilona, Psy.D. said that divorce can also influence how someone goes through a new relationship. Therefore, there are some things you need to ask and find out if you plan to marry a divorced man or woman:
1. Make sure the divorce is legal
Divorce can be said legally if there is physical evidence in the form of a divorce certificate issued by a religious court. This is important for you to make sure before stepping into a more serious relationship. The validity of physical documents can prevent you from bad events that might occur in the future related to his past.
2. Ask how long your partner has divorced and how he feels about it
There is no married couple to divorce. Divorce, even if it is desired by both parties, still causes deep wounds and sadness. Especially if the marriage has been blessed with baby. Passing through dark times after the divorce process is not a short matter. Most people live with guilt after divorce.
When you both decide to get married, you need to find out how long he has divorced and how he feels about the divorce. Is he still saving the wounds of the past or has completely recovered and is ready to start a new commitment. You must make sure that the couple you are marrying is ready to make a new commitment because he is ready, not because of his escape from solitude.
Psychologist and book writer from the United States, Holly Parker, Ph.D. say that when your partner talks about his ex-partner in an angry tone and continues to blame him, then you need to be careful, the sign that he is still trapped in the emotions of the past or has a problem managing emotions.
3. Ask if there are restrictions made between him and his ex-partner
When you decide to marry someone who has been divorced, you need to know the limits that exist between your spouse and his ex-husband / wife. This limitation is useful to see the extent of the relationship and interference of ex-spouses to your partner.
For example if your partner already has children. Of course the contact between your spouse and his ex-partner will still be interwoven even if it's just talking about children. You need to ask your partner for clarity and openness regarding this matter.
Furthermore, as a potential legal partner, you also have the right to set a healthy limit on your partner to his ex-husband / wife. This is intended to maintain the privacy and peace of both of you as a partner. It does not mean negative, but only to clarify which can still be done and which is not. Limits must be made at the beginning to prevent unwanted interference, don't wait until there is a problem first.
4. Find out how you feel
Getting married to someone who has been divorced will certainly be different when compared to people who have never been married at all. You need to think carefully about whether you are ready with all the consequences that you will bear. Especially if your partner already has children.
Are you ready to become a partner and parent? Are you ready to accept the possibility of their children having difficulty accepting the presence of a new mother figure for them. You also need to be ready to keep seeing your partner interact with their ex-spouse when discussing their child.
There are many more things you need to think about if you decide to marry someone who has been married. If you are ready for everything, the sign is that you are ready to move to a more serious level with him.
