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Medical Video: Sex | 6 Things Every Teen Girl Should Know About Sex
No matter what your background, age or experience, first sex is an experience that makes mixed feelings. It's normal to feel anxious when thinking about your first experience, but you can - and should - prepare your physical and mental state as much as possible before the day you arrive.
Here's the ins and outs of the first sex questions that you must know when you are ready to move on to the next level.
1. Will first sex hurt?
When talking about sex, anxiety about pain is the most commonly discussed topic - and it's normal to feel that way. Many women think that losing their virginity will hurt. If the hymen is torn, surely we will feel sick, right?
Reena Liberman, MS, a sex therapist, quoted from Her Campus, explaining that having sex the first time might feel a little uncomfortable. You may also feel a little pressure. But, sex should not cause excessive pain.
If you experience pain that is unbearable during sex, stop and talk with your partner. This can indicate that you are tense and nervous, requires a different position, longer foreplay, more lubrication, or your partner is too fast. Pain can also be a combination of all of this.
Pain during sex is also very common and affects men, especially during anal sex for the first time.
2. Will the vagina bleed?
Along with the hymen tear, it is normal to experience bleeding during and after sex for the first time. Some women experience mild spots, some women don't even bleed at all.
But if the amount of blood is more than that, like a lot of bleeding and stagnating like a stab wound, this might indicate that something is wrong (or you might be menstruating). According to Liberman, each woman has a different size and thickness of the hymen, so this can determine how much bleeding you will experience, even though the hymen may not tear during sex.
Also important to remember, your hymen can tear even if you have never had intimate relationships before, such as when using a tampon, during masturbation, or even with strenuous exercise such as cycling. A woman may not know her hymen has been damaged, because tearing does not always cause pain or bleeding, and in rare cases, a woman can not be born with a hymen.
3. Women may not experience orgasm during first sex
A man can think about sex, have an erection, receive a little stimulation, then ejaculate. But for women, the possibility of having an orgasm when you first have sex is relatively low.
Susan Ernst, a doctor at the Health Service Women 's Health Clinic at the University of Michigan, said that it is normal for women not to reach orgasm during sex for the first time because they are not used to interacting intimate with their partners. "The absence of orgasm will be more common when women are not familiar with their own bodies and what might be needed to reach the climax stage," he said. "When women feel more comfortable with their partners and their partners know themselves, and women understand themselves, orgasms are more likely to occur."
However, there are some things you can do to increase your chances of orgasm, such as foreplay. The type of preferred foreplay will be different for each woman, so it's better that you experiment with your partner and don't give up.
4. What is foreplay - do you need to do it?
Foreplay can be said as a warm-up round to help prepare the mind and body for sex. Many women need to be kissed, hugged, and feel comfortable and safe to trigger vaginal lubrication, and this is important to experience pleasant sex without pain. The way the vaginal canal works is after you are aroused, the vaginal wall will swell and open to make penetration easier. If there is no passion before penetration, sex can be painful.
Reporting from WebMD"It is very important for women to do foreplay because women need more time (from men) to build the stimuli needed for orgasm," said Ruth Westheimer, EdD, psychosexual therapist, professor at New York University, as well as lecturer at Yale and Princeton University.
But remember, foreplay is also equally important for men. First sex can be a wonderful experience for both parties if you understand the intricacies of your body and what you each want from your partner. So, there's nothing wrong with experimenting a little.
5. Can you get a venereal disease if you and your partner are still virgins?
If two virgins who have never had a history of venereal disease decide to have sex for the first time, then it is impossible for them to contract venereal disease from each of them.
But, just because someone claims to be a virgin does not mean they are not guaranteed sexually transmitted diseases. Sexually transmitted infections are not only transmitted through penetration of the genitals. It is possible that one of you has had several other types of sex, for example, oral or anal unprotected, with someone infected with venereal disease, even if you consider yourself still "virgin".
In addition, it is also possible that one of you has a sexually transmitted disease, such as HIV / AIDS, from a method of non-sexual transmission, such as using a needle or being passed from mother to child (although this is rare). Considering using a condom until you have both been tested for HIV and other infectious infections is the best step.
6. Should you use a condom during first time sex?
Condoms are one type of protection that is mandatory if you decide to have sex for the first time (and every time after that!). The reason is that condoms are the only effective way to protect you from sexually transmitted diseases and infections.
Having sex the first time also does not guarantee you are free from the risk of pregnancy. To prevent an unwanted pregnancy (if that is your concern), you might want to reflect on using family planning, either independently or as a "complement" for a condom. If you reach a moment in a relationship with a partner where you don't feel the need to use a condom, you can talk to your health care provider or obstetrician about the form of family planning that is right for your situation.
Most importantly, first sex (and so on) must like it
Sexual communication is the key to having a happy and healthy sexual relationship. One of them is giving and getting (consensual) approval. Approval is an agreement agreed upon by all parties to engage in sexual activity, and this must occur at all times.
Give approval for one activity at a time, does not provide a guarantee of agreement to proceed to the next level or repeat sexual contact. For example, agreeing to kiss someone does not mean giving the person permission to open your clothes. Previous history of sex in the past also does not give your current sexual partner to have sex with you again in the future.
The best way to make sure both parties feel comfortable with sexual activity is to talk about it. Saying verbally to agree on different sexual activities can help you and your partner respect their respective boundaries. It's important to communicate clearly to your partner that you are no longer comfortable with this activity and want to quit. Remember that "no" is "no". So, there is no other way to break it.
But agreement does not have to be verbal. You can cancel the agreement at any point of sexual activity if you feel uncomfortable. Being under the influence of drugs or alcohol is not the same as approval. Likewise, forcing someone to engage in sexual activity by using fear or intimidation.
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