Contents:
- Medical Video: Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila | TEDxSBU
- What is meant by jealousy?
- What is it like, jealous healthy?
- Then, what is unhealthy jealousy like?
- What should be done if you feel jealous of your partner?
Medical Video: Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila | TEDxSBU
Many people justify jealousy when they are a little "acting up". Seeing that he was busy stealing the views of other women, it felt like a burning heart - Who were those women ?! ". Even though it's draining, said jealous people are a sign of love. But what is true? To what extent is jealousy still sound healthy, and which jealousy is destructive and almost obsessive-obsessive?
What is meant by jealousy?
Jealousy is a natural human instinct, which is felt when a threat arises (be it something or someone) that is considered to endanger his existence. Jealousy makes you feel uncomfortable, unappreciated, sensitive, angry, sad, frustrated, and can even lead to anxiety or depression.Even so, jealousy is a natural and normal thing felt by every human being.
What is it like, jealous healthy?
According to psychologist Anne Stirling Hastings, jealousy is normal and is needed when you are in a relationship. However, you and your partner must first know what is mutually desirable in the relationship and build mutually agreed boundaries. For example, you both agree on the rules not to walk alone with each other. Jealousy is a sign that you value a commitment that was previously made together, and will feel disappointed if the commitment is violated.
The jealousy that you experience is also one form of expression that you care about and want your relationship with your partner to remain lasting. The reason is, cemburu causes a surge in testosterone and cortisol levels in your body. Both of these hormones make you have the desire to keep your partner every time you are hit by jealousy. This is also reinforced by an increase in lateral septum activity, part of the brain that plays a role in controlling emotions and bonding to partners.
Therefore, you will do everything you can to maintain your relationship. For example, by paying more attention to the needs of a partner (both physical needs such as food or emotional needs such as listening to the curhatan). So, jealousy acts as an alarm that reminds you that romance must always be fostered, not just left.
However, Hastings states that jealousy can be considered healthy when you are still able to think logically, not exaggerate the problem so that it is allowed to drag on. If you feel jealous, express it directly to him, not rebuke and finally fight unnecessarily.
For example like this. You suspect a third party in your relationship. At times like this, you should not let jealousy go blindly in your heart. Healthy jealousy is when you are able to calm down and start talking about the problem with your partner. You can talk carefully without being emotionally confused.
As long as your partner explains the answer to your question, you should listen carefully and put aside excessive suspicions. If this jealousy can be resolved and passed well, this can actually strengthen the feeling of love and commitment between you and your partner.
Then, what is unhealthy jealousy like?
This difference between healthy and unhealthy jealousy can actually be distinguished from how you deal with it. If you turn obsessive and show possessive behavior, such as checking your partner's cellphone, checking sms and chat, answering incoming calls, kepo-in Facebook and email, until secretly following a partner wherever he goes - be careful, this could be a sign of unhealthy jealousy. There are even some people who are jealous to forbid their partners to leave the house or ask them not to be friends with someone they are jealous of.
With the threat of fear and thoughts that are constantly haunted by these negative things, no doubt you will accuse the couple of having an affair. Quite often this unhealthy jealousy can cause conflict, separation, or even violence in relationships.
What should be done if you feel jealous of your partner?
One of the things that can relieve jealousy and discomfort is to build trust in yourself and your partner. Always instill in your relationship that communication is important in a relationship. You and the person must be equally committed to being open to each other when problems hit, especially about jealousy.
Expressing jealousy with anger, subtle sarcasm, or accusing couples with things that don't make the atmosphere better. Your sense of landing is not likely to be answered. It's good to always communicate well with a cold head. Then, explain your feelings and discuss both how to find a solution. This will allow you to feel more relieved, content to express your heart's content and prevent your partner from being confused by your jealous behavior.
