Contents:
- Medical Video: 10 Traits of Toxic Parents Who Ruin Their Children’s Lives
- What is that parenting helicopter?
- Why do parents interfere in children's lives?
- Why is too much interference in a child's life is poor parenting?
- Do not let children grow
- Children do not have coping skill
- Decreased child's confidence
- Parents help children only because of excessive anxiety
- What parents can do so that they don't interfere too much
- Let children try according to their abilities
- When a child is in trouble, don't worry
- Don't make children the center of your life
- Appreciate children's opinions
Medical Video: 10 Traits of Toxic Parents Who Ruin Their Children’s Lives
Keeping children healthy and safe is part of their parents' instincts, and everyone has their own way of doing it. Some parents even protect their children too much, not only from big problems, but also from small things and responsibilities that they can handle themselves. This is known as parenting parenting helicopter and this term has relatively become more popular in the past decade.
What is that parenting helicopter?
Parenting Helicopter is a term that refers to the way parents care for children who are too focused on their lives. As a result, people always interfere with various problems faced by their children. Unlike the parenting style that follows various children's desires, parenting parenting helicopter more likely to determine how children should act, and be more protective of children from difficulties or failures.
Basically, this is based on good intentions, but parents do parenting helicopter tend to solve various problems faced by children, even though the child can actually solve it himself. Psychology expert Michael Ungar said (as reported by Psychology Today), "This (parenting helicopter) Of course not in accordance with the main purpose of parenting to make it capable of completing various adult tasks. "
He also argues that training children to make their own decisions is far more important than letting them depend on parents to solve the problems they face.
Parenting Helicopter can be in the form of various parental behaviors that oversee school life, social life, and even child labor, for example:
- Determine education majors taken by children even though children do not like it.
- Monitor eating and sports schedules.
- Parents ask children to always give news of where they are and with whom.
- When the value of a child is bad, parents contact the teacher or lecturer to protest.
- Intervene if there are problems with friends or work.
Why do parents interfere in children's lives?
There are many reasons for parents to interfere too much in a child's life. But basically this is due to excessive anxiety parents about how children live their lives. As a result, parent helicopter do various things to help overcome life problems, even take over things that should be done by children.
Although impressed this was only done by parents with children who had grown up, but behavior parenting helicopter too can occur at any stage of a child's development. Parents who are always anxious and have been used to helping their children in various ways since he was a child are likely to continue to do so until adulthood. Unwittingly, when they are teenagers or adults, children tend to be easily anxious and always rely on parents when facing difficulties.
Why is too much interference in a child's life is poor parenting?
The following are some reasons for overprotecting children that can have an adverse effect:
Do not let children grow
Children who are cared for by parents who oversee and interfere tend to have difficulty solving problems, because they have low self-confidence and are more afraid of failure. The further the parent interferes in the child's responsibility, the less their confidence in their child's abilities. Along with its growth, this not only makes it difficult for children to adapt to problems, but can also have an impact on social life, education, and even a career after he grows up.
Children do not have coping skill
Coping skill is the skill of a person in order to face problems and a sense of disappointment or failure well. Always helping children so that they are never wrong or experience failure is something that can hamper development coping skill. As a result, children are not used to dealing with problems or facing failure, and they never learn how to solve the problem.
Decreased child's confidence
The attitude of parents who are too meddling when a child enters adolescence will cause children to become less confident to get along with their age. This will also make it more difficult for him to get along and close himself even when he is an adult. Parents need to be understood, that self-confidence is something that can only be obtained when the child depends on his own abilities, both in making decisions and accepting the consequences.
Parents help children only because of excessive anxiety
Mostly behavior parenting helicopter based on excessive anxiety, compared to the intention to help children. Some parental anxiety is even caused by fear of feeling guilty when children experience failure, or fear of what others think of their child, not because of anxiety due to the child's ability or problems being faced by the child. When you as parents experience anxiety, you should discuss how children deal with these problems. Providing direction and motivation without directly interfering will be better for children to solve problems.
What parents can do so that they don't interfere too much
Being too worried and meddling in a child's life is not a wise way to get close to the child. Here are some things you can do to avoid parenting parenting helicopter:
Let children try according to their abilities
Along with its growth, children experience a gradual development in doing various things. Therefore, allowing children to learn to handle their own things and responsibilities is the best thing to make them more independent and develop their abilities in living life. In addition, it is a good idea for parents to let their children make decisions and accept the consequences themselves, as long as they do not endanger the health and safety of children.
When a child is in trouble, don't worry
Avoid being too anxious and making things seem worse than they really are. This will only make children confused and become anxious because of the negative response parents give to a problem. Face difficulties with children, by presenting a more positive response and without making children more anxious.
Don't make children the center of your life
This is the main reason that some parents are anxious about what choices their children make. The best way to overcome this is to realize that children have life, and have the right to make their own choices. As well as remember, high or low achievement of children is not an indicator that is in accordance with the quality of child care that you do.
Appreciate children's opinions
Imposing opinions on children can cause children not to have their own opinions. Therefore, understand it as something positive if your child has a different opinion than you. If this is not less appropriate for the child's goodness, try to invite him to talk and understand why your child thinks so.
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