You Never Understand Me! - Here's How So You and Your Partner Understand Each Other

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Medical Video: 10 Things a man will do only if he really loves you

Tired of hearing arguments like "You not ever understand me! "or" When, you ever heard talk me? "every time I hear with a partner?Humans in their nature really need to be heard and understood by others. No exception in each love affair with all its problems. But honey, not everyone can or wants to understand and listen to their partner's desires.

In fact, provide yourself (and also the heart) to listen to him, not only the will but also the complaints, is one sign of your love for a partner. So, how should you establish good communication with your partner? Contek the tips and tricks here

Listening is not just listening to your ears, you must also understand

Listening is a form of appreciation, respect for the thoughts and feelings of those you love. But of course listening isn't just using your ears, you also have to use your heart.

Faye Doll, in her thesis entitled Partners ’Listening Styles and Relationship Satisfaction: Listening to Understand vs. Listening to Respond say that "listening" is divided into two types. Listen with understanding and listen with responses. Someone who feels he has listened to understandingly by the speech partner tends to feel more satisfied with his love relationship.

Whereas if you listen only while responding indifferently - "oh so ..."; "Yes, it should have been like that ..."; "Yes, then let it go"; etc. - they tend to be more downor even withdraw from you. After all, not necessarily all of his needs to be heard do not necessarily require answers essay of your. Most of these "demands" to be heard just need you to really ... listen.

Communication, the key to happiness and harmony of the couple

According to psychologist Carl Rogers, listening to and understanding partners is one way to realize healthy relationships. If you listen to your partner's complaints, it tends to make your partner more open with you. You don't want to, right, if your partner often lies and tends to cover up everything? You can also create a flexible, democratic and harmonious relationship by opening a two-way communication path. And most importantly, you can be a strong pillar for your partner to accommodate the story or the problem.

It's a good idea to find out what the goal is before listening to your partner. The objectives include getting information, understanding someone's situation, and providing relief for those who tell stories. This also relates to the reason why some people go to psychologists. They come because they feel they want the problem to be heard and thankfully given a solution.

Your ability and sincerity to listen to your partner is a sign you want tounderstand the messages your partner makes in his outpouring. The bonus is that you can fix things that were previously untrue and romance can be intact.

However, you can also highlight the side caring about what they say and feel. It is also important to know, if you are accustomed to listening to people sympathetically, eat the possibility of your partner or other people tend to listen to you too.

How to listen and understand your partner?

Being a good listener is actually not easy, you know. You need practice and great patience. After all, when you try to understand your partner, you need to turn your attention to your partner. The more often you do it, the more you are good at understanding your partner, and the more positive your relationship will be.

Here are some tips and ways to become a good listener:

  • Try to position yourself as a partner, or someone who tells a story
  • Focus and listen to the important meanings of the contents of the story
  • Pay attention to her body language, usually body language shows true feelings
  • Give empathy when they tell stories
  • Don't make direct judgments, and don't dodge when you become a problem from a story your partner spends.
  • Look into your partner's eyes when he talks
  • Recognize that you are listening, for example you can nod or occasionally say "Okay, I understand".
  • Every now and then try to repeat the words the couple said, while giving neutral comments.

For example when your partner looks sad then says, "this afternoon I was scolded by the boss in the office". You can say, "It must be sad to be scolded by the boss. What happened? " By repeating what the partner tells and summarizes his feelings that appear from body language and expression, he will know that you are listening without needing to hear you say, "I understand" or "I listen."

You can also give a touch to show that you care about your partner, for example by holding hands or embracing while listening to the couple telling stories.

You Never Understand Me! - Here's How So You and Your Partner Understand Each Other
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