Contents:
- Medical Video: BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED...WATCH THIS
- Keeping secrets is different from privacy
- So, can you keep a secret from your partner?
- Communication and openness are the keys to a harmonious relationship
Medical Video: BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED...WATCH THIS
You must have a secret that is stored only for yourself. Sometimes these secrets are considered as a privacy that others may not know, including by your own spouse. However, many say that in a relationship there should be no secrets at all. Does every secret need to be told to the couple? What happens if you keep a secret from your partner? Come on, look at the various considerations below.
Keeping secrets is different from privacy
Not everyone feels really comfortable to open up, even to their own partners. Especially in the early days of establishing a relationship. So don't be surprised if there are some secrets that you keep tight.
Secrets in relationships can vary. For example, traumatic experiences in the past, disappointed with the behavior of a partner, secretly shopping for favorite items without the knowledge of a partner, cheating, and so on. However, secrets are often misinterpreted as privacy. In fact, these two things are different.
Privacy is something that is your right and your personal business. For example password (password) Your social media account or ATM PIN. When this privacy is violated, you have the right to be offended or angry because it belongs to you and your personal authority, not the rights of others.
Meanwhile, secrets are information that you hide, especially because it involves other people. This could be because you are afraid of the impact if the information is known to others. For example, you have had an affair and you are hiding this information because you don't want your partner to get hurt and then leave you.
Simply put, the difference between keeping a secret with privacy lies in its impact on others. Ask yourself, "If this is known to others, will it react negatively?" If the answer is yes, then this is a secret.
So, can you keep a secret from your partner?
No matter how many secrets you keep can still erode the intimacy of your love relationships, even if it's slowly. Keeping secrets from your partner means you have not trusted your own partner. The longer you keep secrets from your partner, the longer you will bury your true self.
Reporting from the Huffington Post, recent research shows that 1 in 5 people keep big secrets such as infidelity or financial problems from their partners. Even a quarter of all research participants have kept secrets for more than 25 years. While 1 in 4 people claimed they kept a secret because the hidden thing could threaten their marriage.
Two research experts, Hugh Follet Ph.D. and George Abraham, Ph.D. agree that deliberately hiding important things related to your partner will undermine your relationship. Because, keeping a secret or lying to a partner can erode his trust in you. Your partner is always in doubt, when you are truly honest and when you hide something behind it.
Communication and openness are the keys to a harmonious relationship
In order for your relationship to remain harmonious and far from bickering, try to be open to each other. Express any secrets from both parties, without judging each other. Of course, this must be done with a cool head and compromise with each other to solve the problem.
Consider each honesty that you both tried to explain, the extent to which the secret affected your love affair. Try to give and receive input from each other for mistakes.
However, you alone can choose when the best time to reveal the secret to the couple. Don't be buried too long, but avoid revealing secrets with the intention of hurting or threatening your partner.
A healthy relationship is actually built on trust and honesty. You certainly don't want your partner to keep secrets from you, right?
