Contents:
- Medical Video: How to Tell Your Child They Are Adopted
- When can I tell the child that he is an adopted child?
- Toddler children (1-4 years)
- Children aged 5-11 years
- Children aged 12-18 years
Medical Video: How to Tell Your Child They Are Adopted
Not a few couples who experience problems in having offspring take the path to adopt children. Although the reason for someone adopting a child is different, it is not always because of difficulties in having children. Parents who adopt children will definitely experience a difficult time, namely when they have to tell all the background and the reasons why they adopted the adopted child. Of course this will be a very difficult time, making parents stressed and stressed. Therefore, it is not uncommon for parents to adopt children not as soon as possible and continue to delay to tell the truth about the adoption. Or even, some of them decided not to tell him at all. Is this true?
Should you advise adoption children about their background? When should parents tell their children that they are adopted children? Then how?
When can I tell the child that he is an adopted child?
Lifting parents are better informed about adoption of their adopted child as soon as possible, when the child can be invited to discuss. Although indeed the explanation given cannot be fully done, but by notifying him since childhood, adopted children can understand better than when they were told when they were adults. Here are the steps you can adopt as a parent.
Toddler children (1-4 years)
Yes, it is better to notify children as early as possible, even when they are toddlers. A child aged between 2-5 years, experiences brain development, cognitive abilities, and the ability to think. Since this age, you have begun to be able to invite him to talk and discuss.
Children aged 2-5 years do not yet have the ability to think logically, but you can still start telling stories about adoption at this stage. Things to emphasize if you explain about adoption in children aged 2-5 years are:
- He was born just like other children.
- He was born by a different mother, but at that time his mother was not ready to become his mother.
- Then state that you really want to be a mother / father at that time and decide to take care and make it a child forever.
- Don't forget to also explain the moment when he was born and how happy you were when he met him at that time.
The explanation that you have conveyed may not necessarily be remembered and understood directly by the child. Therefore, it takes time and repetition so the child understands. And it is better to explain this with a story book or props, so that the child tries to understand as he is being read by his parents.
Children aged 5-11 years
A child entering the age of 6-7 years is able to think logically. They begin to understand the concept of family, family members, and how a child has a father and mother. So at this age, the child understands that he has been born to a different mother and grew up in a different family. While when they are 10-12 years old, they will increasingly understand the concept of adoption.
When that age most adopted children will feel very sad, angry, and depressed, so asking complicated questions about the background, for example:
- Why doesn't his biological mother want to take care of him?
- If you don't have the cost to take care of your child, why not work?
- If you can't take care of your children, why not study with those who already have experience?
These questions may arise from your adopted child and as a adoptive parent, you must be very wise and answer all questions with positive things to avoid overflowing emotional emotions from the child.At this time, each child has different responses in dealing with this:
- Some children will accept and express their feelings of sadness for their adoptive parents
- Some will be defensive, not accept, and deny the truth.
- And some think this is not a big thing.
Children aged 12-18 years
Children aged 12-18 years are large enough and mature enough to understand the background and concept of adoption that has been carried out so far. At this stage, they have the right to know more about information related to their previous family. If your child is at this age, your most important task is to maintain good communication with the child, to be a place to express their feelings and be open. Children aged 12-18 years may still deny and cannot accept what happened.
